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Mama_Umbridge

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The Forbidden Forest, England
31
Sunday 31 July 1994

Mama_umbridge

Its me, yer mama!!! I am woman! Hear me SMASH!!!!

Mama_umbridge -

Mama_umbridge -

Mama_umbridge

lovers5201

PiClzLe

justpaetra

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Quake3

TheLostWar...

Cat E. Sal...

aviv_d

fuckmylife...

ruudseries...

DatBlueDer...

bearbear12...

rachelthel...

Mama_umbridge

Mama_umbridge

Get out!

Anonymous - 10/03/2010 21:12 - United States

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

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Dating apps suck

probablydeadbymidnight - 01/07/2012 22:57 - United States

Today, I exchanged pictures with a guy I met online, whose devotion to his family really impressed me. In his picture, he was wearing clown makeup, holding a huge knife to his throat with one hand, and an ICP album in the other. All this with a psychopathic grin on his face. FML

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donnap - 09/06/2012 05:54 - United States - North Highlands

Today, I got a really bad sunburn. On my eyelids. Who knew blinking could be so painful? FML

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WaffleMan - 08/06/2012 11:58 - United States - Stirling

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

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anonymous - 07/06/2012 11:00 - United States

Today, I found out I have an incredible fear of butterflies. I discovered this after my mother took me to a butterfly sanctuary for some "mother-daughter bonding time." FML

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