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UberFail79

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Houston, Texas
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Friday 09 January 1981

Uberfail79

I am a Houston police officer, and I am slightly paranoid. I have a wife of 4 years (yes, ladies, I am taken) ;), and 2 kids and a large extended family. Don't let my paranoid statements disturb you; that's just what the Marine Corps can do to someone who's already a little bit gun-crazy like me (I have more guns than I do children).

Uberfail79 -

Uberfail79 -

Uberfail79

lovers5201

Saurabh Vi...

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HoboMeth

Hiimhailey...

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Uberfail79

Uberfail79

ihavepinkbackpac - 28/02/2009 19:07 - United States

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

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Bailey - 22/08/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

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Scaryman - 21/02/2010 00:03 - United States

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

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kaycie_lynn - 19/02/2010 01:11 - United States

Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

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Whoops - 28/01/2010 20:21 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML

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