mikezim

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Mikezim's favorite FMLs

By Halloween Fail - 01/11/2014 03:59 - United States - Braidwood

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed in Charlie Brown's ghost costume, a white sheet with holes all over. I got beat up for dressing like a member of the KKK. FML

agreeclassic 37 935

vote type 1 7 628

By Anonymous - 30/10/2014 20:55 - United States - College Place

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

agreeclassic 33 023

vote type 1 27 462

By IronSkye - 29/08/2013 10:55 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

agreeclassic 50 556

vote type 1 6 934

IronSkye app_comment_confession_title

IronSkye 7

Thursday 29 August 2013 18:54

Okay, I'm glad this FML got published. Thanks, guys! However, looks like I have some questions to answer. Firstly, my sister is almost eleven. The day before, we went shopping, and dad bought foir bottles of beer for a game he was going to watch in two days with his friends. My sister took the bottles and put the beer in cups, it totally looked like lemonade. She even put some lemons next to them! Yes, it was light beer, fortunately. But still alcohol. The kids told their mums the juice tasted funny, so they took a sip and figured out what it actually was. In the end, my sister's excuse was that she knew lemonade wouldn't have been successful anyway.

By NotGabe - 01/09/2013 14:25 - United States - Houston

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

agreeclassic 49 594

vote type 1 3 537

NotGabe app_comment_confession_title

NotGabe 28

Tuesday 3 September 2013 1:53

OP here. Looks like I caused some confusion, so let me clear it up. In the US, the changeable tops of a bottle are called nipples. Basically, a female customer gave my **** a twist.

Caught in 4K

By happyturtle - 01/09/2013 09:57 - Croatia

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

agreeclassic 29 382

vote type 1 101 662