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Anonymous - 16/10/2012 01:19 - United States - Evansville

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

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Shelby - 19/06/2012 16:38 - United States - Nokomis

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

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BREAKING NEWS

Anonymous - 10/05/2012 20:17 - United States - Aurora

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

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Curious cat

brittaneejanex - - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my curious cat jumped in. She decided she really doesn't like showers and to avoid getting wet, used my naked body as a makeshift tree. FML

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bigscarypuppy - 22/08/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turned to my dog and said, "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML

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