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mikeyphelan

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chicago, USA
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Thursday 30 December 1993

Mikeyphelan

Mikeyphelan -

Mikeyphelan -

Mikeyphelan

lovers5201

Mikeyphelan

Mikeyphelan

Classy

Username - 07/06/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML

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Anonymous - 25/05/2011 20:33 - Canada

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from my biological father, who I have never met in my life. As I was scrolling through his hobbies and interests, I saw "Drinking," "Black women with big asses," and "Getting laid, lol." FML

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Anonymous - 17/05/2011 16:15 - United States

Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night." She's right. FML

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So good it's bad

kingpin7 - 30/03/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I almost suffocated. FML

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Anonymous - 28/10/2009 21:22 - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML

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