turkeynoodle

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Turkeynoodle's favorite FMLs

By stillsingleladies - 17/02/2009 15:27 - United States

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap-on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

agreeclassic 73 427

vote type 1 5 847

By jesterinperil - 16/02/2015 22:38 - United States

Today, I went out to dinner for my mom's birthday. I'd planned for a nice restaurant which is always packed, so I'd called for a reservation. When we got there, the hostess tried to turn us down because no one ever takes their mother out to dinner anymore, and that I was a fraud. FML

agreeclassic 35 965

vote type 1 2 343

jesterinperil app_comment_confession_title

jesterinperil 28

Wednesday 25 February 2015 23:10

OP here. We eventually got into the restaurant with our original reservations, after contacting management. My mother and I tried to not let the hostess spoil the night. The rest of the staff was wonderful and I don't think we'll be seeing much more of that hostess for a long time.

By Anonymous - 13/02/2015 20:24

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

agreeclassic 38 024

vote type 1 2 231

Skated away

By depressedskatergirl - 07/02/2015 02:35 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had a big figure skating competition. Many of the girls before me fell or did not execute their jumps correctly. Me? I skated a flawless program. I was placed last because they said I didn't push myself hard enough to the point of falling. FML

agreeclassic 44 478

vote type 1 3 100

By I Have Failed - 02/04/2014 20:10 - Spain - Madrid

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

agreeclassic 54 199

vote type 1 6 611