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Read The Fine Print - 24/11/2012 05:55 - United States - Sylmar

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

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spellbound - 19/12/2012 14:59 - Australia - Perth

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

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Bajar - 18/12/2012 19:53 - Australia

Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML

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Bajar

Bajar 1

Wednesday 19 December 2012 7:01

Hey all, OP here. To clarify a few things: it was at the airport lounge, the mother and son had a double couch together and I had a single chair next to the son. The water bottle was disposable and on a clearly visible pocket in my backpack. I still have no idea what I did wrong.

SamWGovan - 09/12/2012 16:57 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

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SamWGovan

SamWGovan 6

Monday 10 December 2012 21:51

Funniest thing was i started laughing uncontrollably afterwards.

Anonymous - 01/12/2012 17:01 - United States - Portland

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

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