uranusclub

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Uranusclub's favorite FMLs

DON'T MOVE!

By Miller_Time - 18/03/2009 18:45 - United States

Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML

agreeclassic 73 846

vote type 1 8 708

By Anonymous - 27/05/2011 15:31 - United States

Today, I walked into work looking like I had peed myself, all because my husband thought it would be "hilarious" to slam on the brakes while I was drinking hot coffee. FML

agreeclassic 34 422

vote type 1 3 574

By WastedTime - 07/08/2010 06:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of one year told me not to walk beside him because people might "think we're together". FML

agreeclassic 42 825

vote type 1 5 732

Is it a plane ?

By Decker - 14/02/2010 01:04 - United States

Today, I went to a crowded Walmart with the hot new girl I'm dating. It was raining and we had to park far from the entrance. As soon as we got out of my car, she started sprinting to get out of the rain. I ran to catch up and slipped on a metal plate, and did a reverse Superman onto my ass. FML

agreeclassic 23 084

vote type 1 5 572

By madd_dizzle - 25/10/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, my crush finally let me drive his truck for the first time in a empty parking lot, after he told me he liked me. It was so dark that I ended up driving into and pole and totaled his car. Now he hates me. FML

agreeclassic 10 754

vote type 1 43 460