Roadkill007

2252

under your bed, inside your closet
37
Tuesday 12 April 1988

Roadkill007

This thing needs a wall :( Now I feel like a creeper for checking out profs without leaving a shoutout btw is it just me or does FML load slower these days? fml...

Roadkill007 -

Roadkill007

lovers5201

chanceuse8...

cocodu0613...

tyron44_fm...

dudeguy99

[928668765...

jgolden

ragnarok15...

pineapples...

coming bac...

swampbaby9...

mdd2014

Roadkill007

churchgoer - 20/03/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, I went to confession. I told the priest that I had an intimate relationship with a woman that I'm not married to. He chuckled and said, "You know, lying is a sin too." I wasn't lying. FML

69 682

9 584

rowie1311 - 27/03/2011 18:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

48 633

31 066

Anonymous - 27/03/2011 14:36 - United States

Today, I kissed a boy I have liked since the first day of university. I was thrilled until he followed it with, "Right, I don't think we should tell anyone this happened. Not that they'd believe it anyway." He then patted my ass and walked away. FML

42 162

4 673

StinkyDogs - 27/03/2011 10:06 - United States

Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML

33 711

11 269

ouch - 26/03/2011 02:27

Today, my cat fell into the bathtub while walking along the rim. This wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't in it at the time, and if my skin was immune to being sliced open by a frantic kitty. FML

32 236

5 459