heyheyitsjay

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Heyheyitsjay's favorite FMLs

By Airhead - 06/11/2009 19:48 - Canada

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I did a really good job playing someone who was really airheaded in my school's play. I wasn't trying to act like an airhead, the director told me that I got cast for the part because the character I was playing was "just like me". FML

agreeclassic 26 909

vote type 1 6 682

By CouldBeALoser - 17/09/2016 18:26 - United States - West Tehama County

Today, I ordered flowers to be delivered to my workplace on Tuesday. To myself. For my birthday. Because even though birthdays are posted in the monthly newsletter, mine gets left out every year. For the past four years. FML

agreeclassic 12 974

vote type 1 1 114

20 Glow-Ups From People Who Were Bullied At Recess, But Definitely Had The Last Laugh

By Nadine - 25/02/2018 17:30 - France - Paris

It’s hard to escape all the Middle School and High School FML-filled days unscathed and without at least a little bit of trauma. Especially for these people, who were definitely picked last for Dodgeball.

agreeclassic 4

vote type 1 2

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 18:41 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

agreeclassic 24 736

vote type 1 4 013

By wellshitthen - 21/10/2015 19:30 - United States - Westborough

Today, my long time girlfriend flew across the country to visit. My asshat roommate decided to introduce himself to her while I was in the bathroom. She left and won't answer my calls. He won't tell me what he said to her. FML

agreeclassic 27 267

vote type 1 1 763

wellshitthen app_comment_confession_title

wellshitthen 14

Thursday 29 October 2015 3:54

Hey all, OP here. Surprisingly, it turned out as a happy ending! My girlfriend asked my roommate to keep me busy for a while so she could run out and grab a birthday gift that she ordered at a local store since she couldn't fly it in with her. My roommate is still an asshat for choosing to give me a heart attack as a way to keep me busy, but it could have been a lot worse.