ukickedmiperro90

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Lincoln, USA
35 years-old
Friday 03 August 1990
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Ukickedmiperro90's favorite FMLs

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

agreeclassic 800

vote type 1 1 943

By ughno - 21/02/2010 19:50 - United States

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

agreeclassic 47 841

vote type 1 3 368

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Monday 22 February 2010 5:36

wow this has just turned into a bug argument over who's state it better hahaha

By anna14 - 21/02/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML

agreeclassic 7 155

vote type 1 49 463

By syl - 11/02/2010 06:18 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

agreeclassic 25 336

vote type 1 5 235

By Ben - 25/01/2010 03:31 - United States

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

agreeclassic 20 300

vote type 1 47 743