ishminday

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Ishminday's favorite FMLs

By lafinesse - 14/05/2012 22:23

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

agreeclassic 44 662

vote type 1 4 534

I won! I won!

By winnerwinner - 02/05/2012 15:46 - United States

Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML

agreeclassic 38 011

vote type 1 6 880

By Flip - 02/05/2012 05:06 - France

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

agreeclassic 16 819

vote type 1 58 563

By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 22:37 - United States - Denison

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

agreeclassic 40 191

vote type 1 4 403

By _sempiternus - 16/11/2013 16:18 - United States

Today, during school, I passed out in the lunch line and hit my head on the metal rail as I fell. Rather than helping or expressing concern at all, my friends simply left my unconscious body on the floor. Why? They had to get to the lasagna before the cafeteria ran out of it. FML

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vote type 1 4 141

_sempiternus app_comment_confession_title

_sempiternus 11

Sunday 17 November 2013 0:41

For those of you that were wondering- yes, I'm alright. :) I'm anemic, and sometimes it catches up to me and I'll start to get lightheaded/faint. I hadn't been feeling well all day, and thought food might help... Guess I was a bit late. In regards to my 'friends', I suppose I used the term loosely. They aren't my closest friends by far, but I've known them for years. We were close enough that I ASSUMED the sight of me falling and bashing my head open would be more important than their need for dry, school-food lasagna. And, in response to one commenter, I didn't expect them to immediately transform into doctors. But it still doesn't feel too great when the people you call 'friends' step over you, sprawled on the ground and bleeding, in favor of food. And no, I don't speak to them anymore. We had a fall out shortly after this incident. Ah well, highschool is a joke anyways.