App

FMyLife

search






FMyLife FMyLife
search
​



    : 320



    It's a trap!

    Anonymous - 09/08/2025 12:00 - United States - San Francisco

    Today, I was ranting to my friend on the phone about my toxic ex, calling him a “walking red flag with a God complex.” Mid-sentence, she cut me off, saying, “Uh… you're on speaker. He’s in the car with me.” He chimed in with, “I mean… fair enough.” FML
    477
    140
      

    A lot to deal with

    Anonymous - 21/09/2025 00:00

    Today, my boyfriend of six years asked, "If you'd go somewhere, where'd you go?" Assumed he's planning our first big vacation, I said, "Somewhere warm, with water and beaches." Later I found out via social media that he's at the airport with a chick resembling our new neighbour. They're going to a romantic place with his boss. I also found out that I'm pregnant and unemployed. FML
    477
    136
      

    Movie night

    Billie - 01/07/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

    Today, I went on a first date with a guy who insisted we watch a film at his place. I agreed, despite feeling wary of a potential trap. Halfway through the film, he fell asleep and started snoring. When he woke up, he blamed me for “keeping him up all night.” I was there for less than an hour. FML
    477
    93
      

    Bad connexion

    Anonymous - 04/08/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, for his birthday, I bought my son the Xbox game he wanted. Seven hours for the game to install, two hours to download, then install an update, which failed twice and had to be restarted. He was a nightmare all afternoon waiting for it, then it was bedtime and the game still wasn’t ready. FML
    477
    152
      

    How many more to go?

    Joseph J - 06/10/2025 12:00

    Today, my wife got home from a 8 day vacation with our daughter. She was instantly angry and yelling at me for not setting the new lights she asked me to install to the correct settings; mad at the paint job I spent hours on in our shower being “not professional enough”; irate that I got a Roomba. One hour down. FML
    477
    115
      

    Disappointing

    NOT a daddy’s girl - 24/04/2025 00:00 - United States - Riverside

    Today, after I tried to be the bigger person and invite my dad to my college graduation/dinner, and he asked when so I gave him the address and times, surprise surprise, he didn’t show up. He didn’t even have the decency to send a damn text. Yet when I’m angry about his crap, I get told I have daddy issues. FML
    477
    85
      

    Bob the builder

    Greg - 06/05/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, my ex said that the reason we didn't work out was because I wasn't handy around the house. I'm quite capable of basic home repairs. I'm not capable when she's hovering over me, hyperventilating, and screaming, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" every time I reach for a tool. FML
    477
    76
      

    Soggy mess

    Baffled - 04/03/2025 06:00 - Canada - Toronto

    Today, my wife went and bought a set of fancy, expensive towels and threw all our old towels away. These new towels don't dry. I've been rubbing myself for ten minutes and I'm still wet. How did she buy expensive, broken towels? How do you make a towel that doesn't dry? FML
    476
    92
      

    On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog

    Anonymous - 10/06/2025 20:00 - United States

    Today, it's been a year since I met a guy online. We clicked almost immediately. Eventually we started dating, after proving who we are through many sources. Turns out he lied about his age after he conspired to make sure I was 100% in love with him before telling me the truth. He's legal but the age gap is uncomfortable. FML
    476
    124
      

    Nice try, Mom

    Anonymous - 29/06/2025 02:00

    Today, my mom lost an argument and tried to ground me. I’m 43 years-old and own my own house, so yes, she actually tried to tell me to stay grounded in my own house. FML
    476
    70
      

    Unprofessional

    Anonymous - 25/10/2025 20:00

    Today, I found out that my doctor got mad I was prescribed Suboxone. Why? He had me in patches and pills when I wanted neither. I found relief and he took it as an issue, but this morning he wrote, "I know you're a druggie" in my file. I've never touched street drugs, and the cherry on top was, "You homeless yet?" A DOCTOR. FML
    475
    88
      

    Dodger

    Abandoned - 29/10/2025 12:00

    Today, I went on a Tinder date that was going surprisingly well. After dinner, she excused herself to the restroom… and never came back. I sat there for 25 minutes before realizing she had texted me: “Sorry, I saw my ex here and panicked. Hope you enjoy the fries.” I did not. FML
    475
    66
      

    Pizza? In this economy?

    I do cook just FYI - 05/06/2025 03:00 - United States - New York

    Today, yet again, we have a fridge full of food, but my wife asked if we can order pizza in front of the kids, who all started jumping in excitement yelling, "PIZZA!" Now I can either say no and deal with pouting and tantrums, or waste money on crappy pizza. FML
    475
    142
      

    Run for the hills

    Ih8meself - 10/11/2025 03:00

    Today, my fiance told me that if I don’t “get on Ozempic or some shit” by our honeymoon, he won’t consummate the marriage. Half an hour later he told me to make some breakfast because he was hungry. FML
    475
    143
      

    One in hole

    Anonymous - 17/10/2025 03:00

    Today, I had to sneak a ladder into a cemetery at midnight because my husband got drunk with his buddies, decided to visit his mother's grave, and in the dark he fell into a fresh grave and couldn’t climb out. Not many women can say they’ve seen their husbands climb out of the grave I suppose. FML
    473
    116
      

    The Times They Are A-Changin'

    Anonymous - 19/10/2025 22:00

    Today, after my dad always telling me that if I went to college then one day I could have a big house, a nice car, a hot wife, and two great kids, the joke's on you Dad. I have a Master's degree and can't afford rent, can’t afford driving lessons, and am single. Also, I've not eaten in two days, because I can’t afford food FML
    473
    119
      

    The horror

    GW. - 01/04/2025 07:00 - United States - Orange

    Today, I have norovirus and my period. I feel like I’m emitting fluids from every hole I have. The toilet looks like something out of a horror movie every time I use it. FML
    472
    79
      

    Crap

    Anonymous - 30/04/2025 09:00 - United States

    Today, I hurt my back at work due to faulty, outdated, and just crap equipment. Workers’ comp offered me two Tylenols and a pamphlet about "mindfulness over medical bills." FML
    472
    64
      

    Should be safe… right?

    Anonymous - 30/04/2025 15:00 - Ireland - Cork

    Today, a friend invited me over for dinner. She presented me with a "gourmet" homemade meal. As I started eating, I realized it tasted… off. She looked at me expectantly, so I politely ate it all. Afterwards, she told me it was a new recipe she was trying "tuna casserole" made with canned tuna… which we found out later expired in 2015. FML
    472
    101
      

    Great minds think alike

    Anonymous - 19/02/2025 03:00 - Sweden - Lidingoe

    Today, I came in to work to hand in my resignation. The minute I walked in, my manager took me aside and said he wanted to talk to me in private. He then cancelled my position and fired me. FML
    472
    95
      

    Heavy sleeper

    Günter von Christ - 24/11/2025 20:00

    Today, not only was I kicked out of the house, but also from the family. What did I do? Fought betrayal with betrayal. What happened? Someone cut my long well kept hair, which they all disapproved of, down to stubble while I was asleep, and they all acted like they knew nothing. FML
    471
    74
      

    Recycled

    Anonymous - 20/02/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my wife told me to my face that I’m the reason climate change is killing babies. All I did was throw a snotty hankie in the bin instead of composting it to be used in her vegetable patch. FML
    471
    103
      

    Very suspicious activity

    Anonymous - 05/06/2025 15:00 - Austria - Vienna

    Today, my boyfriend says he is not cheating, because he has "not met them." He just follows half-naked women, likes only the most revealing pictures, and messages them in private. But yes, he is "not cheating." FML
    471
    145
      

    Backstabber

    Anonymous - 26/10/2025 00:00

    Today, I found out that my husband asked out another woman on a date five days before our 11th anniversary. FML
    470
    84
      

    Undisclosed annoyance

    Hdbelle - 12/07/2025 20:00 - United States

    Today, I waited on hold with an undisclosed government office for nearly two and a half hours, sitting through 45 minutes of Terms and Conditions, only for the clerk to finally answer, say “Hello” once, and then hang up on me before I could even respond. FML
    470
    91
      

    Unwelcome guest

    cpguru24 - 20/03/2025 17:00 - United States - Bellows Falls

    Today, my mom's dog bit my dad's girlfriend in the face. At my wedding. We did not know she was bringing her dog. FML
    469
    66
      

    Fixer upper

    failure - 29/10/2025 15:00

    Today, my successful, attractive daughter gave me the "Daddy I can fix him" speech about her boyfriend. He brings in no money, exclusively wears old ratty T-shirts and sweats, and always stinks of BO and cheap beer. I have failed. FML
    469
    91
      

    Gotta keep grinding

    Anonymous - 22/08/2025 05:00 - United States

    Today, I was once again called into work on my day off after someone called in sick. All I want is one day where I get to stay home. Please. FML
    469
    115
      

    Neighborly

    Michael McMike - 11/02/2025 20:00 - Canada - Whitehorse

    Today, as I always do when we get a lot of snow, I shovelled the snow off my elderly neighbor’s driveway. I slipped and fell into a snowbank, breaking my collarbone, and she had to call 911 to help me out because I couldn't snow angel my way up. FML
    469
    71
      

    Rivalry

    Anonymous - 23/03/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my two idiot boys beat the hell out of each other over a girl they both like. The poor girl isn’t even remotely interested in them, she’s had the same boyfriend for 6 years, and is marrying him next year. What idiots I raised, one has a broken finger and the other is missing teeth. FML
    469
    154
      
    • 35
    • 36
    • 37
    • 38
    • 39
    • 40
    • 41
    • 42
    • 43
    • 44

    Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML
    481
    127
    Today, I had a panic attack. Not on a crowded train, or an airplane, or in school, or any of the expected places. It was in my yoga class, which my therapist recommended for me, while I was in a dead-body position. FML
    28 778
    4 002
    Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML
    51 394
    8 821
    Today, I fell off my truck and landed on one of the stakes my wife uses to keep her plants upright. I landed on it so perfectly that it went through my shorts and perfectly straight up my asshole for a good 4 inches before it snapped. My wife helpfully removed it, but I still spent a night in hospital. FML
    707
    147
    Today, a cute guy in a bar came up to me, and we started chatting. I'm a natural blonde, and he commented on how nice my hair was. He then followed this up with, "Does the carpet match the curtains?" FML
    37 769
    5 195
    Today, I watched as my Tinder date arrived at the coffee shop and mistook another woman for me. He never realized she was the wrong girl, and they spent the entire date together before leaving. The only similarity between me and the other woman was our hair. FML
    2 965
    636

    © VDM SAS,

    ​