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    : 320



    Disrespect

    Anonymous - - United Kingdom

    Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral, and was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because my mum has cancer and I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML
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    Tough crowd

    Anonymous - - United Kingdom - Gloucester

    Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML
    54 499
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    Late

    unemployed - - United States

    Today, I drove two and a half hours to a job interview. The interviewer never showed up or called. I sat in the hotel lobby waiting for an hour and a half. Even the hotel staff said they felt sorry for me. FML
    54 232
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    Party pooper

    imbx - - United States

    Today, I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushed me in the pool, so when I got out, I pushed her in. She started screaming, and I started laughing because I thought she was pissed that I'd pushed her in. That wasn't why she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessed it. FML
    54 161
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    Hurting over here

    wo-ow - - United States - Bronx

    Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML
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    iPod Classic, 7th Gen, 160 Go, the best ever

    abdominates - - Canada

    Today, after a long workout I come back to my locker, to find my lock had been cut. I looked inside realizing my phone and iPod had been stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, my keys were gone. I ran out to the parking lot to find an empty spot where my car had once been parked. FML
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    RIP it up and start again

    A girl - - Netherlands

    Today, it has been 8 months since I started a photography project in which I would take a picture of the same tree every day for a year. I just heard a noise outside. They cut the tree down. FML
    53 285
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    Family is for sharing

    Anonymous - - United States - San Leandro

    Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML
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    Bad start to the day

    Concussed - - Australia

    Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
    53 064
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    BFFs

    annoyedgirl - - United States - Ephrata

    Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML
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    Unionize!

    Anonymous - - United States - West Hartford

    Today, I found out the unionized cleaning people that empty the garbage and clean the toilets make $19/hr and have more paid time off than I do with my college degree. FML
    52 755
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    Lost

    Anonymous - - Germany - Berlin

    Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML
    52 306
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    Wishful thinking

    hoolagirl4422 - - Hong Kong - Kennedy Town

    Today, I bumped into a really cute guy I know. I stuttered and floundered, before saying, "Hi, it's me, Megan Thomas." My surname isn't Thomas, but his is. FML
    52 184
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    Nice, thanks

    Anonymous - - United States

    Today, a little girl came up to me and said, "Hi, my name is Lindsey, let's be friends!" I thought she was cute, so I played along and said, "OK! My name is Jen!" Her reply was, "Wait, never mind, I don't want to be friends anymore. You smell funny." FML
    52 067
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    Coincidence

    lostmystuff - - United States - Livermore

    Today, I was moving to my new apartment. I left some furniture outside as I drove to dump the first load at my new place. When I got back, everything was gone. Apparently, today is the day the donation truck was coming around to take everything we don't need. FML
    52 029
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    Suspicious activities

    Anonymous - - United States

    Today, I was going home with the tomato plant I just bought in my cup holder. The smell of it was filling the car and I love the smell so I picked it up and took a wiff. A few moments later I got pulled over. Apparantly, the cop saw me sniff it and thought I was smelling a marijuana plant. FML
    51 894
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    Mixed signals

    Intheway - - United States

    Today, the guy I've been dating told me that I need to stop hanging on him in public because it's ruining his game with other girls. FML
    51 718
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    Nice

    sadgirl - - United States - Conway

    Today, my grandpa pointed me out to one of his friends, saying, "Yeah, she's the ugly one." FML
    51 698
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    You're welcome!

    phonegotlostinthepark - - New Zealand - Auckland

    Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML
    51 514
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    Up to date

    kubbyp - - Canada - Ottawa

    Today, while reading the paper I saw a picture of a guy I really like that I'd met online. The picture was in the obituaries. No wonder he hasn't called. FML
    51 428
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    Plastered

    Anonymous - - United Kingdom - Alfreton

    Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. Last week, she wrote sweet things like "Love you forever" and "Light of my life" on my arm cast. I have to wait two more weeks until it's taken off. FML
    51 395
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    Assumptions

    Badatlife - - Australia - Kellyville

    Today, a guy at work pulled me aside to tell me that I probably shouldn't be working a job where I have to interact with customers, because of my autism. I don't have autism. FML
    51 283
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    Thanks, I hate it!

    pleasebackintomycaragain - - Canada

    Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot, an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML
    50 674
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    Realistic

    thesitter - - United States

    Today, while babysitting, I gave the boy a pen and paper because he wanted to draw me. When he was done, he let me see, but then said, "Wait! I'm not done." He took it back and basically colored in the arms. I said, "I'm not wearing long-sleeves." He said, "That's hair." FML
    50 604
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    The truth

    unfortunate - - United States

    Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
    50 479
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    Amazing idea, idiots

    zain - - United States

    Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
    50 327
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    This is the end

    MexyBoy - - United States

    Today, my girlfriend of 8 months and I broke up. We decided to give back everything we ever bought for each other. I gave her the stuff she bought me and when I asked for my stuff she said she'd sold it and spent the money on herself. FML
    50 276
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    Scammers

    insurance lies - - United States

    Today, I had to get an MRI. I double and triple checked to make sure there was no out-of-pocket cost. When I arrived at the testing center, I was expected to pay full price for the test. It costs $2,360. FML
    50 030
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    Milestone

    Falling off the wagon - - United Kingdom - Brighton

    Today, my uncle gave me a very expensive bottle of champagne at a celebratory family event. We were celebrating me spending one year sober. FML
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    Eye bleach

    Anonymous - - United States

    Today, my grandparents are in town for the weekend and are staying in our guest bedroom. This morning I went upstairs to get a drink of water, only to see my 75 year-old grandfather standing stark naked with the fridge door open. He then asked me if we had any coffee creamer. FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML
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    Today, I went to a self-checkout kiosk and it asked if I wanted to tip. For what? Watching myself scan groceries? I still ended up tipping 10% because I panicked. FML
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    Today, having moved to Moscow over a week ago, I finally received the TV my work promised my flat would have. A big Russian man came to my door, handed me a TV from the 1970s and left. It doesn't work. FML
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    Today, I was prescribed two different medications. I was also informed that they will both give me diarrhea for the next two weeks. FML
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    Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML
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    Today, my sister made a comment about my small boobs. I told her I'm actually a C cup, and she told me she "can't even C them". I just got roasted with a fucking pun. FML
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    © VDM SAS,

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