Relatable Work You wish!

You wish!

Anonymous - 22/04/2012 02:22 - United States

Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 22/06/2011 05:35 - United States

Today, it was my first day at my new job. My new boss asked me if I was single. After telling him I have been happily married for 6 years, he fired me on the spot. FML

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Overly enthusiastic

Dan the man - 08/10/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, I excitedly got ready for my first day at my new job. I arrived on time, dressed up, only to find out they meant next Monday, not today. My new boss just gave me a weird look and said, "See you next week?" FML

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Anonymous - 26/10/2010 00:22 - United States

Today, I went to my first day of work in over 2 years. As I approached the boss, he asked me what my name was. Turned out they hired the wrong person. FML

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Unforgettable

Anonymous - 25/10/2019 12:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, it was my first day of work at my new job. I got dressed and arrived early, only to find out that the store had closed due to a power outage. Then I found out that the person who'd hired me had totally forgotten about hiring me anyway. FML

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Piss poor management

God dammit - 27/04/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my boss called on my day off and told me to come to work. She neglected to tell me that it was simply to give me my recent paycheck after it got lost, but then she said, "Since you showed up in uniform, you might as well clock in for today. The new guy no-showed again." FML

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Nostradamus

johnnyfuckfacer - 18/10/2012 19:40 - Canada - Concord

Today, I walked into work, after having given my boss a weather prediction last week, so he could decide on which day to open a new company division. I was immediately taken aside and written up for "providing false information, adversely impacting morale". FML

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kellyem2 - 03/03/2016 18:21

Today, I found out that when my boss said she was considering bumping me up to full time, she actually meant she was planning on letting me go. Everyone in the office except me knew. FML

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dontplaywithmyfeelings - 03/03/2015 01:42 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I got a new job and told everyone about it. A few hours later, I got an email from the executive saying I actually don't have the job anymore. FML

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sabotaged - 02/11/2015 00:05 - United States - Oakland

Today, I got fired from my dream job. I found out today that the girl who trained me lied and taught me how to do things wrong, so that when she got back from maternity leave, she could get me fired and take her job back. My new coworkers were in on her plan from the beginning. FML

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Enthusiastic

Earlybird76 - 04/04/2017 09:00 - Canada - Richmond

Today, after 6 months of unemployment and jobs searching, I showed up to my new job 10 minutes early. My new supervisor confusedly greeted me and informed me I was in fact a week and 10 minutes early. HR changed my start date and told everyone but me. FML

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KingMykonos 4

Sunday 22 April 2012 8:17

Your new boss sounds like a tool.

DomDomxoxo 16

Sunday 22 April 2012 8:17

If your boss already ****** you over, find a new job! He won't change.

giggleberry 2

Friday 27 April 2012 18:06

Hah, that's the life of a factory worker my friend.

doglover100 28

Friday 17 August 2012 4:38

Quit now.

rockydify 22

Sunday 31 March 2013 11:01

Yay! Factory work! Haha. At least it pays well

WingedLovely27 20

Tuesday 13 May 2014 9:43

Weekends? Recreational plans? Pffffff...we don't know what you're talking about!

ty4nier 16

Tuesday 17 February 2015 5:20

You realize that's illegal right? You can't falsify information like that in a job interview.

Rammer3500 23

Monday 20 June 2016 7:22

I don't think thats legal... He lied about your benefits...

gizmodorner 15

Saturday 30 July 2016 16:45

thats illegal m8

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML

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Today, while buying drinks, the cashier immediately refused me and said, “Don’t even bother showing me your ID, you’re obviously 12." I’m 31. FML

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Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML

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Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML

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Today, I received a text with my last name spelled wrong. A short conversation revealed he got my number from me, through Tinder. I don't have an account, but he insisted he knew that I like it "hard and rough." He knew my first name. I still don't know how he got my phone number or name. FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and started knocking on his door, asking, "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answered, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

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