Love Yay me! - FML

Yay me!

sadinmass - 13/11/2010 13:24 - United States

Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 03/05/2009 15:22 - United States

Today, it was my boyfriend's 21st birthday. Along with a pair of $80 shoes, I bought him a birthday cake, his favorite ice cream and a $15 balloon. I showed up to the party and he was very intoxicated. So intoxicated that he pops the balloon, drops the cake, and throws up all over his new shoes. FML

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bubblegum92 - 29/06/2013 08:02 - Australia - Perth

Today, It was my fiancé's 21st birthday party. It ended with him too drunk to walk and wailing about how much he misses an ex girlfriend of his that he dumped 4 years ago. FML

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vetapplez - 04/04/2009 08:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML

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Anna - 28/03/2012 01:08 - United States

Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML

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Aeare_ - 17/09/2016 04:15 - United States - Dixon

Today, it was my 21st birthday and I invited a handful of my best friends over. They all stood me up and I drank alone in my apartment. Happy birthday to me. FML

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Anonymous - 06/06/2013 16:32 - Senegal

Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML

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Happy 20th! - 28/07/2010 05:48 - United States

Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend threw a beer can through my back wind-shield after breaking up with me. FML

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Anonymous - 24/06/2011 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML

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Love is…

Anon - 01/05/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, I had woken up very excited to celebrate my 21st birthday. I rolled over in bed and asked my boyfriend if we could go out to the park to have a picnic, considering the lovely weather. He looked up at me and said, "You wish I loved you that much." He rolled back over and slept until 3pm. FML

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thedd - 18/08/2009 04:44 - United States

Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML

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EllOfficial 6

Saturday 13 November 2010 19:43

are you hideously obese?

Morgansayshi 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 19:47

Was the cake good at least?

chellabella856 0

Monday 2 May 2011 1:24

awww how sweet rofl

hateevryone 14

Saturday 25 June 2011 4:13

at least you have one

2queen18 2

Thursday 30 June 2011 3:18

they say people tell the truth when drunk.....

anniepie17 1

Monday 1 August 2011 20:21

I bet ur gorgeous and at least he said he loved u :)

Holy_ish 19

Saturday 13 August 2011 21:12

lol the truth comes out when your drunk

Zilverflame 0

Tuesday 29 November 2011 13:36

At least he loves you.

MightyMimi 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 1:33

it's drunk talk. trust me, my dad called me a dumb bitch when he was drunk, & didn't remember it till I showed him the recording,

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Sunday 5 February 2012 17:51

so you got a strip tease and he still loves ur fatass? not an fml

deadmommy06 6

Friday 10 February 2012 1:51

Dump his ass!

juventis 16

Saturday 28 July 2012 23:37

It's not a party, if it's just 2 people

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out that one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML

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Today, I left my desk to go to the bathroom. I arrived back at my desk to a large package of SlimQuick packets. Guess my coworkers think I need to lose weight. FML

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Today, I helped my orchestra teacher out and played with a double quartet for a faculty meeting. When it came time to introduce us, he called out the names of the seven other students and then admitted in front of everyone that he'd forgotten my name. I've been one of his top students for 3 years. FML

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Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML

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Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

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Today, my mom found out that paper is made from trees. She read it on a garbage truck. I then had to explain to her how it's made. FML

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