Kids Who? What?

Who? What?

Female - 22/01/2013 23:16 - Australia - Elsternwick

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum." I'm only 26 years-old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 23/10/2014 01:33 - Australia - Liverpool

Today, early in the morning, I got a knock on the door from the police. It seems my son and his friend had been caught throwing toilet paper at a neighbour's house. He's 23. FML

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Anon - 23/06/2014 23:13 - United States - Denton

Today, after nearly a year of being stalked, harassed and even terrorized, the police finally found out who my stalker was. It was my 19-year-old son, who thought it would be a fun prank to pull. FML

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The Child Catcher

Not a child hater - 30/10/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I had to chase down and tackle a boy (around 11 or 12) at my workplace after I caught him snatching someone's wallet and trying to quickly sneak out with it. Now everyone thinks I have something against children, even after I returned the stranger's wallet and explained that the little brat is a thief. FML

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ihateteenagers - 30/12/2010 02:12 - United States

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

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duckthehack - 28/01/2011 14:25 - Poland

Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML

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bitch i'm a gerontophile - 29/11/2012 18:08 - Taiwan

Today, while working at my local supermarket, I found a boy lost and wandering about, so I took him to the front desk. My reward from his mother was a slap around the face and harsh words for supposedly having kidnapped him. FML

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Stranger danger!

Anonymous - - Australia

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

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Such a rush

Anonymous - 20/05/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Loughborough

Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML

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notyouagain - 03/10/2010 07:40 - Australia

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML

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Anonymous - 30/10/2010 23:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked outside to find someone had egged my house and smashed a pumpkin onto my car. I later discovered that the perpetrator was my own 8 year old son. FML

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Palirose 22

Wednesday 23 January 2013 9:04

Tell the police that, so that they can take him to his real home and family.

tacojauns 45

Wednesday 23 January 2013 9:10

Congratulations on your new son!

jake5laura 6

Wednesday 23 January 2013 12:04

I wonder if he still would've told the police i was his parent if upon opening the door i was 50+ and male

emh86 14

Wednesday 23 January 2013 12:55

Still possible. When I was 15 my parents were 55

jake5laura 6

Wednesday 23 January 2013 13:13

i mean like, i could have been a pedophile

saksxalmo 20

Wednesday 23 January 2013 12:07

She COULD HAVE been raped? Er, what? Last I checked, 5-11 year olds can't consent to sex.

perdix 29

Wednesday 23 January 2013 14:16

Just go with it. Nobody ever gets too many hugs. Also, you don't want to be the next target of this kid's vandalistic skills.

etchsanity1 11

Wednesday 23 January 2013 14:23

46 - we ha a 9 yo get pregnant by her 10 yo boyfriend out here it was on the news and fairly disturbing ... We've also had more than one vase of preteen kids sending naughty pictures to each other ... They can't consent with an adult but there is no law on the books that can prosecute the kids for consenting to each other ...

laden_swallow09 34

Wednesday 23 January 2013 14:26

I think said Peruvian girl was a freak of nature in the way she was carrying the fetus who was supposed to be her twin sibling because the girl absorbed the other fetus during development and had no chance of delivering it. I saw it on one of those Discovery documentaries like, "The Man Whose Arms Exploded". Please correct me if I'm wrong.

xsarax_fml 10

Wednesday 23 January 2013 14:55

Hahaha you shoulda went with it and helped the kid out so he wouldn't get in trouble! Well, that's what I woulda done. lol

Froleybot 5

Wednesday 23 January 2013 15:21

#57 That is incorrect. The girl was a "freak" in that she started puberty at an extremely early age. She actually had a 6 pound baby boy and he lived until he was 40 when he died of a bone marrow disease. The girl is still alive at 79 years old.