Weird and Health: Weird flex, but OK - FML

Weird flex, but OK

By Anon - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML

agreeclassic 9 356

vote type 1 42 219

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Similar FMLs

Satisfaction

By thacupcakeassassin - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Shippensburg

Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML

agreeclassic 12 079

vote type 1 1 759

The smell test

By sosadstudent - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

agreeclassic 35 115

vote type 1 4 468

Deez nuts

By needtoscratch - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

agreeclassic 24 394

vote type 1 1 846

Stinky pits

By shakinmahbuttbutt - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

agreeclassic 52 878

vote type 1 4 573

Caturday surprise!

By keeperstride - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

agreeclassic 17 828

vote type 1 72 212

Naughty girl

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice, then we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside, she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML

agreeclassic 30 073

vote type 1 3 816

Glade

By stinkystinky - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML

agreeclassic 13 954

vote type 1 968

Rash decision

By FilthyIke - 21/08/2009 20:17 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML

agreeclassic 47 778

vote type 1 4 388

The struggle

By lizi - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

agreeclassic 4 066

vote type 1 846

New fragrance just dropped

By lavenderpiss - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia - North Adelaide

Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML

agreeclassic 43 502

vote type 1 4 036

Next

TOP COMMENTS

pancakerocks 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 18:55

intresting. i take joy in smelling myself after i shower

krustacea 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 18:53

I've done that.

Comments

DaKillaMafia 2

Thursday 12 January 2012 21:01

The smell of Old Spice Aqua Reef

mrs_cundiff 9

Thursday 12 January 2012 21:05

thats kinda nasty brah...

lifelessons22222 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 21:16

You freak

squarecircles 13

Thursday 12 January 2012 21:23

Ahhh. BO is an amazing thing because it smells better when it's your own.

bebekinza 5

Thursday 12 January 2012 21:28

ugh you're one sick individual

reldnahceus 8

Thursday 12 January 2012 21:33

Ew, you need a hobby.

l0v3p4in 7

Thursday 12 January 2012 21:39

You are a nasty mother- F U C K E R !!

haybugbaby 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 21:49

Ew!!!

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Thursday 12 January 2012 21:54

The fact that you're a woman makes this even worse. I don't condone this sort of behavior for men, but women are supposed to be more concerned about their hygiene unless they're living on the streets or something. Which I suspect you're not because you posted this on a computer with Internet access.

notsaying12 2

Thursday 12 January 2012 22:07

That's disgusting , who does that ?

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Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

agreeclassic 48 378

vote type 1 14 747

Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, the only response I got was, "You may want to use a spellcheck." FML

agreeclassic 14 055

vote type 1 26 300

Today, the only colleague I dislike was promoted to be my manager. FML

agreeclassic 1 037

vote type 1 101

Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML

agreeclassic 11 439

vote type 1 22 891

Today, my daughter is such a bitch that when her husband texted to say he’d be 30 minutes late after work, she rang him to yell at him. He got so upset, he decided not to come home at all and booked a hotel, which was awkward for everyone waiting to surprise him with a birthday party. FML

agreeclassic 659

vote type 1 168

Today, I found out what my son has been celebrating. Apparently, his boss caught him smoking weed and fired him, then had a massive stroke and now has the IQ of a potato, so my son just kept turning up to work since his boss hadn’t had the time to tell anyone he was fired, or to fill out any paperwork. My son is scum. FML

agreeclassic 1 746

vote type 1 448