Sextoys, Funerals Intimacy Too late - FML

Too late

hinting - 17/06/2013 16:43 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

carebear1228 - 01/07/2014 17:31 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

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Overcome

Handblocked - 04/09/2018 06:00

Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML

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Thanks, I hate it!

V…… - 09/02/2009 07:51 - United States

Today, I visited my 78 year-old grandmother. She thanked me for visiting and gave me a magazine before I left telling me I might find something I like in there. When I got home I looked at the magazine only to realize it's full of dildos and sextoys. FML

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Weird kink but OK

Anonymous - 25/01/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was alone at my dad's house. I was furiously masturbating when I knocked something over. It was my grandmother's ashes. FML

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tdiz - 12/10/2010 04:48 - Canada

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

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Thanks for the memories

How - 01/10/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I was expecting a package from a few days ago, but it still hadn't arrived. As I was going to work, I found it at my grandma's house. Why didn't my grandma tell me, you ask? She died last year. My package was mistakenly delivered to A DEAD PERSON. FML

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Quandary

Anonymous - 18/05/2022 12:00

Today, my nana died today of a heart attack in her sleep. I’ll never know if there was something I could have done, because while it was happening I was upstairs with a dildo, as it’s been a month since I had sex and I had the urge. I feel so selfish and ashamed. FML

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Anonymous - 10/09/2013 07:04 - United States

Today, I found out my grandma wears dentures when I had to fish them out of a cooler. She lost them bobbing for beer at a local bar. FML

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Boomer humor

Anonymous - 15/02/2014 23:14 - Australia - Fitzroy

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

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Jonnyboo - 29/08/2009 12:13 - United States

Today, I found out I was getting a new bed for my room. Then find out it was my great-grandmother's. The one she died in. FML

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teddy4nyy 13

Monday 17 June 2013 23:05

Quite possibly the creepiest FML I've ever read on this site.

yoimtrollin 24

Monday 17 June 2013 23:06

"Oh das nasty" - Cleveland Brown

subiedude08 17

Tuesday 18 June 2013 9:00

Sometime u just gotta say what the ****

Chris425 12

Tuesday 18 June 2013 9:03

Grandma still needs some

noreallywhat 17

Tuesday 18 June 2013 9:35

so who gets it in the will?

random_commenter 9

Tuesday 18 June 2013 10:40

Actually, there is a well known scam that works like this: The scammers get the names of recently deceased persons from the obituary in the newspaper. Then, if they can find out the address, they send sex toys or nasty **** videos claiming that the recently deceased has ordered those. Usually, out of grief and embarrassment, the relatives will pay for the order without questioning the bill...

Epikouros 31

Tuesday 18 June 2013 12:40

It's wouldn't be so surprising if grandma was 29 years old when OP was born.

IsRaeliPrinCess 8

Tuesday 18 June 2013 12:56

You should keep it so you can feel closer to her.....oh wait....

lovekiki 19

Tuesday 18 June 2013 13:47

That's the spirit, grandma!

kiml123 5

Tuesday 18 June 2013 13:51

:( That's sad!

SiegeOfTheSiren 9

Tuesday 18 June 2013 15:16

This reminds me of some weird, screwy version of Romeo and Juliet. :X

girlymae 12

Tuesday 18 June 2013 16:33

Yah then you might have found it being used...

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was eating lunch on my first date with a really pretty girl, when my ex shows up at the same restaurant and starts telling her how bad of a boyfriend I was. My date left. FML

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Today, I overdrew my account and ended up paying an extra 35 bucks for a 1.99 item. It was an application on the iPhone that is supposed to help me keep track of my money. FML

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Today, I met the family of the guy I’m seeing, and they are all amazing. I’m scared to tell him I have a schizophrenic mum and a raging alcoholic dad. FML

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Today, on a flight, a woman in a crop top reached up to get her bag from the overhead locker and her breasts ended up on top of my head for like a second. Total accident, no biggie. That was six days ago, we fly home tomorrow, and my wife hasn’t spoken a word to me since the breast thing. FML

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Today, I took my best friend out to dinner for my birthday. She gave me a gift after I paid the tab saying, "my mom thought you would like this - it was expensive." It was a lovely set of origami paper, which was the exact set I brought her as a souvenir from Japan. She was right, it was expensive. FML

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Today, for the first time in more than two years, a guy asked me out. Too bad he lives halfway around the world. FML

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