Health Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face...

Username - 15/07/2011 19:51 - United States

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

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Women's Day: Equality and Laughter
Stories that celebrate women in a light-hearted and humorous way, because equality can also be a source of joy! …

Ouchhh - 25/05/2010 06:54 - United States

Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML

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Anonymous - 27/10/2017 06:03

Today, I purchased a cactus in a cute little pot and put it on my windowsill so it could get sun. Unfortunately, that's also where I have my alarm clock. Guess which one I grabbed in the morning. FML

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thanksdad - 16/03/2014 19:28 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

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Anonymous - 29/02/2012 16:52 - United States

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

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TheSublime - 21/10/2009 13:54 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML

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It hurts when I pee

yomamma787 - 24/11/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

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Shout the victory

dogpatch087 - 02/01/2020 03:00 - United States - Ventura

Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML

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Anon - 24/03/2012 02:42 - United States

Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML

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Anonymous - 31/08/2014 17:51 - United States

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

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Reflex

romea244 - - United States

Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML

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GigaB 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 0:38

don't sleep under a cactus?

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:27

Faceplant.

TBMFan 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 0:56

well Duhh , Dont Sleep Near it >.

tacocannon99 5

Saturday 30 July 2011 1:34

Ok your picture turns me on bigtime.

textwork 4

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:01

ouch

tyler063093 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:03

my dog

tyler063093 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:03

my dog

karimshao 1

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:05

sounds like a big lie!

Person1233 12

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:06

... and then a million spiders crawled out of it?

hottiebrunette 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:11

talk about "cact-eye"

clancey6 4

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:14

The plants are after us! Plants Vs. Zombies... I mean Humans!

bigbadtim 7

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:15

Try numbing the pain with some tequila.

sarcasticbloom 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 1:15

in your face.

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after running late for work, my boss called me into his office and asked me why I was wearing a uniform shirt that said Amanda. My name is Rob. Amanda is my fiancé, who works for the same organization at a different location. Employees are prohibited from dating each other. FML

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Today, I met my girlfriend's friends for the first time. One of them walked up to me and gushed, "Oh my god, Joshua! It's so nice to finally meet you!" Then she made a remark about how she heard I played hockey. Hi, my name is Matt, and my sport is wrestling. FML

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Today, my flatmate was criticising his nephew for being too lazy to get a job. His nephew actually has a physical disability, so I pointed out he never had a job since he got 50 rental properties at 19 years-old when his dad died and makes a fortune on the rent. He then told me that waiting for his dad to die was his job. FML

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Today, I thought that my husband and I were going to work things out, since we’ve been having sex every night. I snooped into his emails today while he was at work, only to see that he’s started the divorce process without telling me. FML

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Today, I covered for my friend at work because he said he was having car troubles and was going to be late. Two hours into the shift, I got a call from my roommate asking why my girlfriend had moved out. Turns out, I'd covered my friend's shift so he could help my girlfriend move out behind my back. FML

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Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend when I said, "I wish all the weight I gained just went to my boobs." His reply was, "They'd be HUGE." FML

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