Animals: Today, the car across the street has been broken into so many...

By Anonymous - 15/02/2016 17:04 - United States - Athena

Today, the car across the street has been broken into so many times that my parrot has started to mimic its car alarm. FML

agreeclassic 21 951

vote type 1 1 729

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By Unhappymothersday - 17/05/2012 20:41 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/10/2013 17:20 - United States - Tacoma

Today, my car was broken into, on the same night I stayed up late researching how to install my new car alarm. FML

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By MacGrouber - 17/03/2011 00:12 - United States

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/04/2019 00:00

Today, my bird learned how to mimic the fire alarm after my dad has been testing them for the last few months. He now enjoys sounding like a fire alarm anytime I turn the lights off with the other bird joining in. They live in my room. FML

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Make it stop

By shadow1248 - 27/05/2012 05:06 - United States - Stamford

Today, I had finally gotten my dogs to quiet down and my baby to fall asleep. Not thirty seconds later, my neighbor's car alarm went off. They aren't home for the weekend, and the damn alarm has now been blaring for three hours. FML

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By hcditfi5foygy - 23/09/2018 13:30

Today, I learned that my new neighbour's car alarm goes off every time a car drives by blasting loud bass. So far, it's gone off 6 times in the last hour. I can't wait until he's done moving in here, where he and his car will stay for the next year. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/09/2012 20:37 - United Kingdom - Harlow

Today, my car alarm went off during a funeral. Three times. FML

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Enjoy the sirens

By Anonymous - 17/03/2023 04:00

Today, my parrot learned how to imitate my baby's crying. Now, every time the baby cries, the parrot joins in, and it sounds like a chorus of screaming. FML

agreeclassic 882

vote type 1 204

By Hardsleeper - 16/10/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I learned that my car alarm only goes off if the car is unlocked a bit forcibly. Doesn't make a sound when some prick breaks the window out in the middle of the night to steal my cd player. FML

agreeclassic 32 992

vote type 1 2 313

By Anna - 15/06/2012 09:43 - United States - Buellton

Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML

agreeclassic 8 776

vote type 1 51 803

drayloon 50

Tuesday 16 February 2016 0:24

Pollywannasaferneighborhood, squawk!

TheAspieDork 27

Monday 15 February 2016 23:49

Move to a new neighborhood if possible

Comments

okudatwo 11

Wednesday 17 February 2016 4:57

F your neighbors' lives.

moss1030 5

Wednesday 17 February 2016 7:45

I laughed but I'm sorry.

ConspiracyCake 8

Wednesday 17 February 2016 19:34

Your fault for having a parrot

Ciara Koch 22

Friday 5 June 2020 6:32

Heyy at least it’s not your car

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Today, is my brothers 16th birthday. He got keys to the Lexus. I'm 18, have no car, and got pajama pants and chapstick for my birthday. FML

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Today, I took a week off work because my father passed away. I was at the funeral home making arrangements when I overheard the owners complaining about how their insurance agent had left them to fend for themselves. I'm their insurance agent. FML

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Today, I fell down the stairs, and my uncle came rushing over because he thought it was his 1 year old son. He saw me lying on the ground and said, "Oh. It's you," and then left to watch the hockey game. FML

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Today, I told my boyfriend he's handsome, which I do often. Not everyday, but maybe once or twice a week. He got upset at me. He said it makes him feel uncomfortable. We've been together for 3 years and I still think he's the most handsome man I've ever seen. FML

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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, as he'd realised that life is really short, and he's got to enjoy with his friends. FML

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Today, I went to my uncle’s funeral. Later, I found out that his irresponsible idiot of a daughter had COVID, knew she had COVID, and not only showed up anyway, but didn’t bother to wear a mask, and went out of her way to go around hugging people. FML

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