Kids: Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them...

By TiredMum - 16/10/2013 13:33 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

agreeclassic 52 140

vote type 1 7 109

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By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 16:17 - Philippines - Makati

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

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By I hate children - 18/08/2014 12:10 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

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Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML

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By faitesdesgosses - 19/05/2014 14:27 - France - Mantes-la-ville

Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like to have when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/02/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML

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By ScaredDad - 02/05/2019 12:00

Today, I needed to grab something from the garage. As soon as the door closed, I heard a little click sound. My one-year-old seems to have figured out the door lock. FML

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By Anonymous - 05/05/2009 03:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for my neighbors. Their 5 year-old had finally fallen asleep at 11 after two hours of stories and songs. No sooner had I tiptoed out of the room did I realize that my phone had dropped out of my pocket onto the bed. It was ringing. It was their mother checking in. FML

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By pigtails - 16/01/2013 12:21 - United Kingdom - Thetford

Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML

agreeclassic 31 429

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By emergencyroom - 15/03/2014 12:21 - United States - Parkton

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

agreeclassic 51 482

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BellaBear90 27

Wednesday 16 October 2013 18:49

Smart cookies :)

pam241 15

Wednesday 16 October 2013 18:49

Genius kids you got there

Comments

jh921971 10

Thursday 17 October 2013 6:05

Your kids know cooperation at 5. I'd call that a good thing.

Horris 3

Thursday 17 October 2013 6:10

I'm so sorry you have smart kids.

Deadmike 7

Thursday 17 October 2013 6:27

Good Girls :) and finally someone who has passed on good genes unlike of all the dumb kids people write about..

hannahnicole3196 4

Thursday 17 October 2013 8:21

So cute!

kumarina 35

Thursday 17 October 2013 9:00

Smart kids!

anonymousvoice 5

Thursday 17 October 2013 10:25

I can't say your life sucks...but what I can say with no hesitation, is that you have two very... smart cookies:P

simsgirlgem 25

Thursday 17 October 2013 12:32

start them on books and activities like origami to channel that evil genius complex

mxgirl1998 26

Thursday 17 October 2013 13:50

Time for the high shelf..

condiment_queen 13

Thursday 17 October 2013 14:27

Yeop. Way to have daughters that at age 5 are proving they will do anything to get junk food. So..... You'll be willing to pay for weight loss surgery when they hit their teens and can't fit thru a door? Real funny then.

Medication 10

Thursday 17 October 2013 16:51

I was so pressed for sugar as a kid, that I would steal Kool-aide packets from the kitchen, and then hide under my bed and eat the powder. Sucked having a dentist as a mom sometimes.