Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their...

By Pissedoff777 - 12/08/2011 05:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML

agreeclassic 42 420

vote type 1 7 898

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By Juiced - 26/09/2012 18:46 - United States - Denver

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

agreeclassic 29 542

vote type 1 3 391

WTF dude?

By lunarstrain - 08/11/2011 06:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

agreeclassic 49 163

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Tasty!

By Username - 31/01/2011 15:47

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

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Oh, so cute

By Anonymous - 10/04/2013 04:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

agreeclassic 59 000

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Thanks, I guess…

By edible - 20/05/2009 20:01 - United States

Today, I surprised my girlfriend by sending her an Edible Arrangement. When she called to tell me she had gotten it, she was more excited about the cute boy who'd delivered it than she was about the fruit bouquet. FML

agreeclassic 54 561

vote type 1 4 098

Good one

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:06 - United Kingdom - London

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

agreeclassic 30 330

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Beautiful

By Anonymous - 10/05/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend wrote me poetry. Here's how it went: "Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poetry, show me your tits." That's the most romantic thing he's done for me. FML

agreeclassic 1 438

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By Anonymous - 15/02/2014 22:44 - United States - Carlisle

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

agreeclassic 59 840

vote type 1 8 841

By Noname - 16/01/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

agreeclassic 20 660

vote type 1 6 681

By Anonymous - 20/09/2009 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML

agreeclassic 37 092

vote type 1 6 602

360XBOXFTW 0

Friday 12 August 2011 11:55

How sweet of him :)

toelie 26

Friday 12 August 2011 11:57

So, does it?

Comments

Gigaboo 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 5:58

at least hes on the right path

justmethough 8

Sunday 1 January 2012 21:50

Hey, he tried..

mrosebud94 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 2:15

I can promise he more than likely has an anterior motive.

emmywemmy123 4

Saturday 1 September 2012 23:57

Then why are you dating him...

JuliannVo 11

Saturday 13 October 2012 21:20

He wants it yummy >.

gracelace 3

Sunday 25 November 2012 17:02

The saddest part of the story is that you settle for that. :P

natsaysheyyy 16

Thursday 7 February 2013 1:56

Get to swallowing!

amisenho 11

Thursday 25 April 2013 23:04

That's like buying a chocolate-chip cookie for a charity drive.

dillbrown12 7

Thursday 27 June 2013 22:25

*Eats fruit*

timmy257 8

Wednesday 18 September 2013 3:46

He is a keeper.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my son was smart enough to hack the school's computers to change his midterm, but isn't smart enough to actually keep his grades up. FML

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Today, I came for the first time WAY after the normal age, which is like 11 to 13 (I’m 16) and not only that, but I learned I have to deal with medical conditions, because it was painful when I ejaculated. The first time I even had testicle retraction. I’m just like my goddamn dad with his problems. FML

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