Love: Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers...

By poopcoloredeyes - 31/10/2011 20:06 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML

agreeclassic 38 223

vote type 1 3 696

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By Anonymous - 03/04/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and he brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then he smiled and said, "Your eyes are two different colors right now. One's blue, one's green…" I was so happy he still noticed the little things. Then he finished his sentence with, "…ya know, like a dog." FML

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By shitty situation - 28/01/2013 23:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML

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By Anonymous - 09/12/2013 22:41 - United States - Lihue

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML

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By lucy_g - 02/11/2013 05:06 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of, "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML

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By pubemilkshake - 08/12/2014 02:12 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 22:00

Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the picture of "him as a baby" is really his son. FML

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By redhead - 06/07/2017 22:30 - United States - Lima

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years is dating another girl. Not only do she and I share the same hair and eye color, but we also happen to have the same first name. FML

agreeclassic 6 426

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By Noname - 16/01/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

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By Kate - 07/03/2009 18:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML

agreeclassic 65 790

vote type 1 8 269

By Anonymous - 15/02/2011 05:50 - United States

Today, during dinner, my family had a discussion about the color of poop. FML

agreeclassic 31 696

vote type 1 4 707

SexyHindu 2

Monday 31 October 2011 21:57

What the hell does he put in his salad?

ShakeMeDown 12

Monday 31 October 2011 22:00

Eyes.

Comments

SwedishDerp 3

Monday 31 October 2011 22:35

That is hilarious

FreddyAmazin 0

Monday 31 October 2011 22:39

Ouch.

perdix 29

Monday 31 October 2011 22:45

To stay first and foremost in his heart and mind, you should toss his salad every night.

hzlzkgzkgzchxuxh 3

Monday 31 October 2011 22:45

What if your eyes are blue

Savra_fml 17

Monday 31 October 2011 23:13

Then his salad would contain the blue vein cheese in it. Logic.

eastsidesoldier 7

Monday 31 October 2011 22:55

Nice

eastsidesoldier 7

Monday 31 October 2011 22:55

Nice

chosha_fml 26

Monday 31 October 2011 23:06

God, who is stupid enough to say that to someone?

amam96 7

Monday 31 October 2011 23:12

oh my goodness...

Icecream93 4

Monday 31 October 2011 23:13

FYL. I'd be so offended xD.

BrooklynBoy7 8

Monday 31 October 2011 23:13

hahahahahha. that must suck for you!

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Today, I was at my brother's graduation. His mom was taking pictures of him in his cap and gown, but she got a picture of me sucking off a Coke bottle for a laugh, and she posted it on Facebook. FML

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Today, after 3 nights of insomnia, I was finally able to doze off. My boyfriend woke me up just to ask which soda in the fridge was mine. FML

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Today, I was in agonizing pain and couldn't move. My parents said they couldn't take me to the ER until the football game on TV was over. FML

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Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friend's stomach. It was my Principal. FML

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Today, I confessed to losing my wife's engagement ring, and replacing it with a lookalike months ago. My wife also confessed that her actual engagement ring was locked in the safe, and the one I lost had been a fake. I've been paying the replacement off on my credit card for 6 months. FML

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Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML

agreeclassic 41 494

vote type 1 9 340

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