- 12/05/2017 10:33 - United States - Woodbury Today is my 25th Birthday, it is also the day my boyfriend decided he was having doubts about our 3 year relationship. FML 222 15
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML 42 817 3 573
Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML 10 181 39 891
Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML 48 463 3 393
Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML 52 062 3 278
Today, I called my dad to tell him my boyfriend had proposed to me, and that we're planning on being married this summer. He was surprised at the short engagement, so I said, "Well, we're almost 30." Dad replied, "Wow, I left your mom when I was 35!" So not the conversation for that information, Dad. FML 27 726 3 592
Today, my son, who I admit has a temper, met his cousins from France for the first time. Straight away he lost his temper, but before I could step in, his younger cousin knocked him out cold with a right hook, looked me dead in the eye and said, “That’s how you get a bitch under control.” FML 261 1 730
that's shit... :(