Love: Today, I threw a bonfire for my birthday. My boyfriend managed...

By firehurts - 08/06/2015 23:38 - United States - Wallkill

Today, I threw a bonfire for my birthday. My boyfriend managed to set my leg on fire by throwing his liquor bottle into the fire. Happy birthday to me. FML

agreeclassic 27 301

vote type 1 2 734

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By Anonymous - 01/12/2011 07:00 - United States

Today, I turned 21. It's also the day I learned how it feels to have my foot and leg set on fire by a drunken idiot who thought it was a great idea to splash lighter fluid into an open-pit bonfire. FML

agreeclassic 27 696

vote type 1 2 728

By Anonymous - 06/01/2015 16:40 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

agreeclassic 29 640

vote type 1 4 707

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

agreeclassic 40 991

vote type 1 3 697

Great idea

By UnluckyLatina - 22/04/2016 03:30 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I celebrated my friend's birthday. While everyone was completely wasted, a couple of friends suggested that I throw a pie in the birthday boy's face. Only seconds after doing so did I realize that the centre of the pie had still been burning hot when he screamed in agony. FML

agreeclassic 15 677

vote type 1 12 319

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

agreeclassic 34 571

vote type 1 14 924

Smash

By Unintended Victim - 08/12/2022 02:00

Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML

agreeclassic 1 039

vote type 1 108

By nickorion12 - 28/06/2016 14:21 - United States - Shawnee

Today, it's my birthday. My children decided to make me "breakfast in bed", only to end up setting the kitchen on fire. FML

agreeclassic 11 641

vote type 1 1 307

Yay me!

By sadinmass - 13/11/2010 13:24 - United States

Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML

agreeclassic 35 619

vote type 1 5 778

By Happy 20th! - 28/07/2010 05:48 - United States

Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend threw a beer can through my back wind-shield after breaking up with me. FML

agreeclassic 38 818

vote type 1 4 606

By Anonymous - 06/06/2013 16:32 - Senegal

Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML

agreeclassic 58 724

vote type 1 11 766

keiNan_fml 35

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:47

This girl is on fire.

kingdutchhy 19

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:54

I guess you could say that your birthday celebrations went up in flames.

Comments

timb1234 13

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:46

Are you Russian?

brownapple 22

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:01

What has that got to do with her leg being on fire?

ColonelCusswords 24

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:52

#9 everything

keiNan_fml 35

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:47

This girl is on fire.

91hayek 31

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:48

Now that's what I call fire water!

keiNan_fml 35

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:50

Sorry to hear that. Happy birthday OP.

FunnnyGirrl 19

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:53

Your boyfriends not the sharpest tool in the shed...

leogachi 15

Tuesday 9 June 2015 14:13

It could be boyfriend's, for boyfriend is.

pauliegon 18

Wednesday 10 June 2015 0:15

You have large *******.

kingdutchhy 19

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:54

I guess you could say that your birthday celebrations went up in flames.

SubparAtBest 23

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:57

maybe OP is a guy.. in which case he would be Flamin'! ....ill let myself out.

nickaa827 13

Wednesday 10 June 2015 4:56

not even remotely funny

cgm387 1

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:00

sorry to hear that.

_Peppermint_ 34

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:03

Ouch!!!!! I hope that fire was put out quickly.

Diarrhea_Volcano 29

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:04

Now all you gotta do is pee it out

ColonelCusswords 24

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:55

I love taking life advice from you, diarrhea volcano

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Today, I found out that my cousin has an OnlyFans, and I subscribed. FML

agreeclassic 160

vote type 1 903

Today, I was in the car with my daughter when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML

agreeclassic 7 105

vote type 1 33 593

Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the whole time and never responded, except for a few times to say "Ouch." FML

agreeclassic 34 230

vote type 1 10 378

Today, after going to the doctor, thinking I was going to be diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, it turns out my thyroid is "perfectly normal." Apparently the strange feeling in my neck that oddly mimicked the disease is "an autism thing", even though I've never noticed it happen until now. I am so confused. FML

agreeclassic 441

vote type 1 122

Today, my boyfriend came across an old poem I wrote. I like to write horror stuff, but he was disturbed, called it “silly” and “sad”, and said he didn’t want to have a girlfriend who thinks about stuff like that. I'm now discouraged from becoming a writer. FML

agreeclassic 1 761

vote type 1 226

Today, it's day 9 of my honeymoon. It's also day 8 of my period and day 7 of food poisoning. FML

agreeclassic 32 085

vote type 1 2 092

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Great idea

Smash

Yay me!

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