Intimacy Today, I thought about going to visit an old girlfriend of mine...

benjavel71 - 10/01/2017 11:13 - United States - Prairie Grove

Today, I thought about going to visit an old girlfriend of mine with hopes of getting a little head. Unfortunately, I didn't know it would be head lice I'd get. FML

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Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! …

anonamous - 17/07/2009 16:59 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML

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Anonymous - 26/06/2015 20:08 - United States - Clarksville

Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML

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caliibbyy - 29/11/2010 05:03

Today, I found out my best friend has a massive head lice infestation. It wasn't until after I'd used her hairbrush to brush my hair that I figured it out. FML

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ItchItchBaby - 09/09/2017 13:00

Today, 2 hours before a 13-hour flight, I found out I had head lice. I'm a 24-year-old woman. FML

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Anonymous - 10/06/2016 01:08

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to take a break. At least she gave me a parting gift. Lice. FML

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Anonymous - 29/04/2009 01:07 - United States

Today, this guy I like let me wear his favorite baseball hat that he never takes off. I returned it to him later, only to find out I have lice. FML

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sarahmaxine - 09/05/2015 04:10 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML

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Sharing is caring

Infested Girlfriend - 30/04/2020 05:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my boyfriend and I are so close that we share everything. This now includes his head lice. Thanks, dude. FML

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hairy - 30/09/2013 21:59 - United Kingdom - Guildford

Today, I discovered that I have caught head lice from my son. Unfortunately, they are living in my chest hair. FML

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imalilangel05 - 10/02/2009 15:08 - United States

Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML

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dramaelf 37

Tuesday 10 January 2017 16:26

Um, gross. And the head lice are gross too.

WinterChild 20

Tuesday 10 January 2017 17:32

Bet you didn't see it heading in that direction.

dramaelf 37

Tuesday 10 January 2017 16:26

Um, gross. And the head lice are gross too.

WinterChild 20

Tuesday 10 January 2017 17:32

Bet you didn't see it heading in that direction.

Magnoxidans 19

Tuesday 10 January 2017 18:14

Better than crabs... I think?

almost_there44 26

Tuesday 10 January 2017 19:08

Well, you didn't specify what kind of head you wanted so it's not her fault. YDI.

Badgero 12

Tuesday 10 January 2017 20:14

Didn't see that coming.....

kaitlynjane 28

Tuesday 10 January 2017 22:22

Aww, how cute! Now you all can be best buds! What? Why are you acting so scared? C'mon! They don't bite! ........ Oh, wait.

Konarika 11

Tuesday 10 January 2017 23:15

"Little" head must be true.

maharb01 17

Wednesday 11 January 2017 0:16

Arkansas FTW!

jcash52426 5

Wednesday 11 January 2017 2:07

That's what you get for sleeping with your ex, next time she will give you crabs.

KIEdekka 14

Saturday 14 January 2017 0:33

<p>Bro, hat were you thinking?</p>

cuddlycactus 11

Thursday 16 March 2017 16:32

hat indeed

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Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date to an expensive restaurant. After the meal, he got down on his knee and proposed. We've only been dating for two weeks, so I said no. He just silently kept staring me in the eyes, no matter what I said or did. I ended up having to walk home. FML

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Today, my girlfriends and I got a caricature painting while on a trip in the city. Unfortunately for me, the part of my appearance that the artist decided to exaggerate was my acne. FML

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Today, my nephew kicked me in the balls, again! And he got me fair and square this time. It's the fourth time he's got me in the balls since the pandemic started. I have to put my groin guard from college on and teach him a lesson because he won't listen and he's 12, so he knows what he's doing. FML

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Today, I learned that my boyfriend has narcolepsy when we were having sex and he passed out on top of me. FML

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Today, a customer has been tanking my business online, claiming I’m a fraud and stole her money. She ordered a painted copy of one of her wedding photos and was mad she couldn’t pick it up that same afternoon. Do you have any idea how long portraits take to paint? Longer than two hours I can tell you. FML

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Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

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