Intimacy: Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk...

By Anonymous - 25/01/2014 01:29 - United States - Petaluma

Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk on my Facebook timeline by my senile mother. 5ML

agreeclassic 52 597

vote type 1 5 767

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Dumbasses

By Anonymous - 16/08/2013 21:05 - United States - Nevada

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read, "My mom's a total pedo," after which she mentioned the talk. Her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

agreeclassic 57 541

vote type 1 6 356

By CallaC - 15/03/2012 02:01 - Canada

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

agreeclassic 39 536

vote type 1 2 906

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

agreeclassic 16 835

vote type 1 37 560

By ReallyMom - 09/01/2014 21:48 - United States - Shawano

Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML

agreeclassic 57 724

vote type 1 5 210

By PPP - 28/04/2015 15:05 - United States

Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

agreeclassic 32 689

vote type 1 3 344

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

agreeclassic 52 243

vote type 1 4 192

By jared77 - 02/08/2011 16:26 - United States

Today, my mom decided to give me a bloodcurdlingly graphic sex talk. On a plane. I'm 23. FML

agreeclassic 34 797

vote type 1 2 884

Wisdom

By fiftyshardsofbroccoli - 26/10/2012 17:58 - United States

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

agreeclassic 31 480

vote type 1 3 068

By linn - 27/09/2012 20:14 - United States

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

agreeclassic 42 164

vote type 1 3 215

Cringe

By iamshrimpy - 08/01/2010 06:24 - Canada

Today, I logged onto Facebook to a new notification. I got excited, until I went on to see that it was my mom commenting on my status. She had seen my friends swear in previous comments and decided to make a comment of her own. She told them, "Hey, watch out yr language!" I'm nineteen. FML

agreeclassic 25 109

vote type 1 6 039

momsquared 10

Saturday 25 January 2014 12:20

At least she still cares about your health.

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Saturday 25 January 2014 12:23

Even senile, she has your best interest at heart :) I think that's sweet

Comments

mellowmeoww 5

Wednesday 30 April 2014 7:53

number one rule of facebook nvr add family

Malaki691 15

Saturday 28 June 2014 1:33

Your grammar is horrendous.

paolino_fml 18

Wednesday 16 July 2014 9:23

Senile?

Smokindevil 9

Wednesday 10 December 2014 7:33

Does anyone else realize that it says "5ML"? Or am I crazy.. O_O

iwusinger47 2

Thursday 23 April 2015 21:50

5ML YOU GUYS LOL

dontmindme7 9

Sunday 11 October 2015 4:45

5ML????

skye_tbfh 18

Saturday 17 October 2015 7:16

5 milliliters

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