By Sal - 03/03/2009 18:29 - United States

Spicy
Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML
agreeclassic 71 066
vote type 1 31 144
Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Next

TOP COMMENTS

Tehalon 0

If she ever expects you to go down on her then just reply with sorry you know that won't happen, I'm not a cannibal.

196 8
drybamboo 0

I didn't know consuming bodily fluids was a carnivore activity. Does that mean she doesn't condone french kissing? Unless she equates a ******* to actually biting off a piece off your whatwhat. In that case, you should probably be grateful that she is a vegetarian.

126 2

Comments

Golden_fml 1

#18, you just called yourself an asshole? Hahahha.

0 0
silentfirefly 0

I don't really understand how that violates vegetarian rules....

0 0
EIDS 0

The punchline wasn't that she wasn't going to eat his cockmeat sandwich. It was the fact that he is dating a vegetarian. A damn shame. FYL, buddy.

0 0
burdenofaday 0

lmao If she was joking, she's a keeper. If not, I feel sorry for you. :[

0 0
ohmygolly 0

P.S. OP, have you tried telling your girlfriend that every sperm is sacred, and that every sperm is great? :)

0 0
luckyyyme 0

Why does a girlfriend HAVE to give her boyfriend blow jobs? Just because she won't doesn't mean you should dump her. I am hoping you are dating her for more serious reasons, than sex. BTW I love her reason, I think it is hilarious.

2 0
sillypun 0

#52 hit the nail on the head. Don't be afraid ladies. Its only a dick. Gentlemen -- don't eat out your girlfriends if y'all don't want to. If they are cute I'd be happy to satisfy them if they return the favor.

0 0
nobody_special 0

wang; the other white meat. You're gf is hilarious, btw

0 1
Amkii 0

#48 - Well, that wasn't very nice of you, now, was it? Yes, I think someone's slutty if they are having a sexual relationship with their significant other, if they're not married. Call me old-fashioned. Maybe 'slutty' isn't the right word, since I don't know that she had multiple sexual partners (but if she's willing to give a guy a ******** before they're married, I'm guessing she's a ****), but what word would be better? I guess just downright 'disgusting' would work too. Like I said, I'm old-fashioned. I believe in sex after marriage, not before.

1 1