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Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story passes through the moderation process, it will published in the next 24 hours.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


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    By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML
    agreeclassic 37 198
    vote type 1 31 144
    Share  
    The rhythm of the fight
    Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…
    Previous FML Next FML

    TOP COMMENTS

    RaggleFrock 13
    Wednesday 4 January 2012 11:54

    Oh na na what's my name

    529 12
    _streets_ 19
    Wednesday 4 January 2012 11:54

    That awkward moment when...

    546 31

    Comments

    andrewnearbin 0
    Thursday 5 January 2012 10:14

    In stead of saying what's my name he said what's your name?

    0 0
    saphire512 3
    Thursday 5 January 2012 10:25

    So conceited.

    1 1
    iloveshim 14
    Thursday 5 January 2012 10:37

    Conceited, perhaps?

    1 1
    MzMuLaBaBii_ 0
    Thursday 5 January 2012 11:45

    Lmfaoo

    0 0
    deimosian 1
    Thursday 5 January 2012 13:06

    ******* like a pokemon.

    1 0
    rixxy98 1
    Thursday 5 January 2012 13:16

    Umm awkward ?

    1 0
    rjradical 0
    Thursday 5 January 2012 14:57

    "damn I'm good!"

    0 1
    EmperorHilo 11
    Thursday 5 January 2012 15:37

    That's funny

    0 1
    bigmama3_fml 4
    Thursday 5 January 2012 16:13

    Lmao

    0 1
    Bananaque 0
    Thursday 5 January 2012 17:56

    Lmao. That's awesome!

    0 1
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    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML
    agreeclassic 48 201
    vote type 1 8 983
    Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
    agreeclassic 37 641
    vote type 1 4 743
    Today, my partner got a lockdown haircut. He now has a mullet. FML
    agreeclassic 1 069
    vote type 1 213
    Today, I had an important test at 7 in the morning, so I sat the alarm at 6 o'clock and fell asleep. Later I was woken up by a call from my friend asking me why I didn't show up for the test. It was 9:30. I'd sat the alarm at 6:00 PM. FML
    agreeclassic 686
    vote type 1 579
    Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML
    agreeclassic 12 358
    vote type 1 2 838
    Today, I learned that my doctor lost all of my immunization records. I can't start law school without them. FML
    agreeclassic 28 817
    vote type 1 1 890
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