Work: Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I...

By Anonymous - 18/03/2014 21:31 - United States - Arlington

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

agreeclassic 46 215

vote type 1 4 007

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Why me?

By Irenne - 26/11/2025 03:00

Today, the coworker I like reported me to HR for "sexual harassment." All I did was make him lunch every day, give him 'just because' gifts, and compliment him in a non-sexual way. It sure isn't "sexual harassment" when another coworker of ours does the exact same things; in fact, he praises it and acts indifferent to me. FML

agreeclassic 109

vote type 1 847

By his word vs mine = me suspended - 10/08/2013 18:41 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

agreeclassic 47 104

vote type 1 3 100

By Anonymous - 26/02/2014 21:44 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had to give a sexual harassment seminar to my department. Someone put in a complaint that my example made them feel uncomfortable. FML

agreeclassic 42 855

vote type 1 4 241

By Anonymous - 12/10/2013 06:19 - United States - Avon

Today, my bitchy co-worker decided that being given a compliment on her shoes is sexual harassment, and worthy of reporting me to our boss over. FML

agreeclassic 47 470

vote type 1 3 560

Leech

By upyours - 22/05/2020 17:00 - Australia

Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML

agreeclassic 2 124

vote type 1 214

Asshat walking

By Bad employee - 28/06/2023 11:00 - United States

Today, a random customer at work admonished my coworker for being on her phone. During our lunch break. As he walked away, my coworker muttered, "What the fuck is his problem?" I nodded in agreement. He heard her and saw me nodding. As did our boss. Time to get written up. FML

agreeclassic 755

vote type 1 186

Creep in chief

By wow @ creepy fuckers - 17/11/2012 01:06 - United States

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

agreeclassic 34 194

vote type 1 6 160

By Lunar-Spice - 23/07/2019 04:05

Today, I asked one of the girls at work out on a date. She responded by filing a harassment complaint. Now, I can't speak to her at all without being written up. FML

agreeclassic 1 526

vote type 1 1 000

By liltravol23 - 15/01/2009 11:36 - United States

Today, the only cute girl in my office made fun of me because I'm 27 and bring fruit cups with my lunch. FML

agreeclassic 25 229

vote type 1 4 650

Tactical

By Anonymous - 03/08/2009 14:50 - United States

Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my coworker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she went to the manager and accused me of sexual harassment. FML

agreeclassic 55 105

vote type 1 3 943

energizerbunny23 18

Wednesday 19 March 2014 2:37

Probably jealous of the size...

TheTedster 15

Wednesday 19 March 2014 2:39

File a complaint against him for being "unreasonably stupid".

Comments

Nevracceptdefeat 26

Wednesday 19 March 2014 4:59

I think we all know what Gwen Stefani would say "This S*** is bananas b-a-n-a-n-a-s"

sumanmaas15 2

Wednesday 19 March 2014 5:11

Some people..

CrikOgresmasher 19

Wednesday 19 March 2014 5:13

better not eat a donut

SirTimtastic 6

Wednesday 19 March 2014 5:21

shove it up his butt hole and see if he thinks that seems threateningly sexual.

phatdaddy62 23

Wednesday 19 March 2014 9:53

You speak from experience?

TheTogaedHail 6

Wednesday 19 March 2014 5:29

For some reason I think he has a gay, homophobic crush on you... ._.

buckdharma 37

Wednesday 19 March 2014 5:32

Did it squirt?, cause its not supposed to.

awkward_panda 8

Wednesday 19 March 2014 5:52

I'm guessing you ate the banana seductively?

Fmlsea 28

Wednesday 19 March 2014 5:59

it probably turned the guy on and freaked him out ,so he complained so you wouldn't bring anymore bananas to work.

imchacon22 19

Wednesday 19 March 2014 6:06

Did you make eye contact while eating the banana?

cannonman1863 17

Wednesday 19 March 2014 6:28

If you do it right, it can be.

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I found out that I've been pronouncing "quinoa" wrong for years. FML

agreeclassic 577

vote type 1 271

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

agreeclassic 27 594

vote type 1 2 734

Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML

agreeclassic 38 140

vote type 1 2 721

Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied "No, but shoot him anyway." FML

agreeclassic 568

vote type 1 93

Today, they're jackhammering through concrete walls at my workplace in order to build an addition. I'm allowed to work from home… but I live right next to where they're jackhammering down a concrete garage. FML

agreeclassic 414

vote type 1 72

Today, since I've been single my whole life, my parents decided to get me to think about what I would want in a relationship. The ensuing conversation made me realize why I am single: not only do I have a major lack of confidence, but I also just don't know how to talk to people, much less people I'm interested in. FML

agreeclassic 399

vote type 1 132