Intimacy The passenger - FML

The passenger

benander - 15/09/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

scarred for life - 28/05/2016 05:23 - United States - Carmel

Today, I realized my recent weight loss probably wasn't caused by working out and eating more healthily. It was from the tapeworm I discovered hanging out my ass after I took a crap. I had to pull it out with my bare hands. FML

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Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

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what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god - 05/04/2013 18:51 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

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That's nice

ouch - - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML

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Sorry, little dude

dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

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Creepypasta

mrsekko - 31/05/2011 12:44 - United States

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

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blowinchunks - 24/11/2009 06:00 - Canada

Today, I found a mealworm in my cornflakes. I had already finished most of the bowl. I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. FML

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Ring of fire

Anonymous - 20/08/2022 12:00

Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML

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Bunged up

Anonymous - 17/03/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the medication I’ve been taking has caused me to become constipated for so long I'm now unable to go, because all my poop is a solid mass in my bowels no stool softener can touch. So a surgeon is either going up my ass with a hose and a spoon, or cutting open my stomach to remove it. FML

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Rob - 16/10/2009 01:59 - France

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said, "Have fun!" FML

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LOLYLIF 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 3:05

I hope to ******* God no one does a comic for this one.

zrjones 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 1:52

this is oone of the nastiest FMLs ever

SydneyG 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 20:23

uhm.. yeah i threw up in my mouth when i read this

AbbaZab 4

Sunday 24 July 2011 8:31

3 feet? WTF...

Akissofheaven14 1

Thursday 28 July 2011 22:56

Eeeeww!!!!! Im gonna go throw up now!!

ButteredMuffin 3

Tuesday 2 August 2011 21:00

This is by far THE nastiest thing I have ever read in my life. OP, FYL!

coreysmith 0

Friday 2 September 2011 19:44

Thats just nasty

pokernife 0

Thursday 8 September 2011 5:37

Um three feet?!? And you didn't feel this thing ?? DAMN

bethnoire 10

Sunday 23 October 2011 10:10

This should be in health, not intimacy, but good lord. Suppose everyone enjoys reading about what's been in someone's ass.

rttr 18

Thursday 27 October 2011 5:16

What's a tapeworm?

LmfaoYoureFunneh 0

Thursday 17 November 2011 4:59

My advice: google it

rttr 18

Thursday 27 October 2011 5:16

What's a tapeworm?

Kresaera 2

Thursday 19 January 2012 15:30

that is so gross on so many levels.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, me, a coworker, and my manager were looking at random advertisements. One ad was a picture of three fish. My coworker named them what I thought were completely random names. I said, "Those are stupid names." Turns out those are my manager's kids' names. FML

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Today, a drunk driver totalled my new Audi. Who was the drunk driver? My dad. FML

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Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend, she was grabbing the fat on my stomach. I said to her, "Quit touching my fat!" She replied, "So don't touch you at all?" FML

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Today, after I offered my boyfriend of a couple of months to come stay at my place for a few days, he turned up with suitcases… along with his 2 children, who he'd never mentioned having before, despite one of them being a toddler. They seem intent on staying a while, so I'm wondering what to do now. FML

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Today, while I finished my business with my girlfriend, she asked if I used Viagra. I replied, "No I never use Viagra." She responded with, "You should." FML

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Today, I went to the military base to save $10 on a haircut. On the way out the gate, the glare of the sun blocked my view of a star barrier. Instead of saving $10 on a haircut I now owe a $500 deductible to fix my car. FML

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