Mental health, Depression, Parents Dad jokes Thanks, I hate it - FML

Thanks, I hate it

Anonymous - 07/01/2011 02:45 - United States

Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 08/08/2015 05:18 - Canada

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

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Cheeky dog

onefmlafteranother - 15/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was laying my head on my dad's dog when he walked in. I jokingly asked my dad, "I'm cuddling with your dog, are you jealous?" At that same moment, the dog lets a massive, earth-quaking fart loose, and my dad promptly responded, "Nope!" FML

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Prankster

longlostkid556 - - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

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UncleMonkey - 06/03/2015 06:18 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML

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sick of this shit - 12/03/2016 13:33 - United States - West Grove

Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML

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Convoluted

Anonymous - 14/11/2023 04:00

Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML

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byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

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Anonymous - 23/11/2014 12:52 - United Kingdom

Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML

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Erm, OK?

Anonymous - 21/08/2025 03:00 - United States - Queens

Today, I farted in bed like my parents do. It sounded like an unexpected trumpet. Luckily no one was nearby. I usually don't fart. It took me by surprise. FML

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Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

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omgshaylaaa 0

Friday 7 January 2011 9:06

haha yay dad

hiddydiddy 0

Friday 7 January 2011 9:08

Im sorry, but u have a funny dad :)

Suchafukkinlady2 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 12:20

Your comment :That is so something my dad would do! I'd be glad if i were u at least ur dad isnt boring as all hell.

diamondgirlacici 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 1:03

wow your father is real mature.

Vaesive 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 2:55

Dad - 1, Emo kid - 0

jnicolem 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 7:59

lmao your meg, your dad is peter, and your mom is lois!

xxocourtt 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 17:22

funny.. but that's something a 5 year old would do!

alexandrox 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 18:36

ha ur parents sound fun :p

noparlpf 13

Monday 10 January 2011 22:03

How old are your parents? Like two? Seriously, if someone, even my dad, tried squatting over my face, I'd punch him in the balls.

M1k3y_G 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 5:42

Lmfao that's hilarious

tennistar652 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 12:22

hahaha WTF weird dad...

orly33 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 23:15

Ahahaha I'd do that too, so would my mom

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I lost my job to a girl that graduated with the same bachelor's degree from the same college as me. She also got a master's in an unrelated field. I've been working there 7 months, and her master's in maths apparently makes her a better athletic trainer than me. FML

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Today, without trying, I convinced my 24 year-old daughter that Stop signs with a white border around it were optional. Her car is now totaled and she’s in the emergency room with whiplash. I didn’t think she’d be that gullible. FML

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Today, my wife has been grumpy all day, because she decided to get herself worked up over an argument we had and then peacefully settled three months ago. Like she suddenly gets to reopen the argument for no reason. I’m refusing to continue the argument on principle, hence her grumpiness. FML

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Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML

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Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML

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Today, I got robbed at the gas station I work at. After only getting $38 dollars out the register, the guy then stole my purse. It had my rent money in it. FML

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