Awkward Love Thanks dad…

Thanks dad…

Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

29 664

2 616

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

birdisnottheword - 11/03/2015 13:55 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

29 950

8 905

Privacy

whyme27 - - United States - South Bend

Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML

28 961

4 492

ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

13 573

44 745

June - 19/05/2009 21:51 - Canada

Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML

12 630

74 819

wendtinmypants - 31/05/2014 15:05 - United States - Omaha

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

49 926

9 223

Anonymous - 20/10/2010 22:22 - United States

Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML

32 364

3 328

EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

40 329

7 539

Timing

iliterallypoopedmyself - 19/01/2012 01:54 - Australia

Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML

30 784

3 889

Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

21 652

9 155

number2 - 18/10/2011 01:14 - United States

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

34 449

4 043

jkozzy 8

Thursday 27 September 2012 0:09

If his boss ever calls, say the same thing. ;)

Welshite 39

Thursday 27 September 2012 0:11

If you are a regular here, you ought to know better. I thought it was standard for FMLers everywhere to take their phones with them into the bathroom.

ChubbyNicki 6

Thursday 27 September 2012 1:59

If she gets grossed out by that, she's just not the one. :) ******** is natural op, she can't say she's never been stuck on the toilet before.

I3eefChowFun 7

Thursday 27 September 2012 2:03

There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Everybody *****. If you don't, then you're full of shit, both literally and figuratively.

PhishloverA 14

Thursday 27 September 2012 2:11

Yeah that's why I always take my phone into the bathroom with me. Well not really but I still do anyway

the_true_batman 10

Thursday 27 September 2012 2:23

At least she knows that you're not using your phone while ********. It's better to leave it than use it with potentially unclean hands. You sound like a catch, everyone seems to be mixing ******** and phone use nowadays.

Arcangel196 0

Thursday 27 September 2012 2:24

Noisy parents lmfao

Welshite 39

Thursday 27 September 2012 2:31

I know! Mine never shut up. Eventually I got so sick of their blabbering that I used duct tape and some rope and stowed them under the cellar stairs. That was months ago, and I haven't heard a peep since.