Wanker Intimacy Terms and conditions

Terms and conditions

albinoalligator - 04/07/2016 00:48 - United States - Elkton

Today, I declined an apartment because it didn't have a detachable shower head that I could use for my enjoyment. FML

7 398

20 262

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

sad - 25/10/2011 10:15 - Reserved

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

31 168

36 598

Georgia - 13/05/2011 01:02

Today, my boyfriend turned down a shower with me because he didn't want to get his hair wet. FML

40 581

6 066

Anonymous - 17/05/2012 21:54 - United States - Spring

Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML

29 356

2 193

Things hate me

WaychulMonster - 25/10/2022 10:00

Today, while trying to relax because I'm sick and I feel like crap, the shower head attachment fell and hit me on the head. FML

864

110

Feeling dumb?

BadatDIY - 16/11/2009 14:04 - United Kingdom

Today, the maintenance workers finally came to my apartment to fix the shower-head that kept falling off the wall. I was annoyed because they had replaced it a few weeks ago and since then, it'd been a problem. They went into my bathroom, turned the shower head around, and left. FML

7 985

27 731

ravestradamus - 12/10/2009 12:34 - Australia

Today, I was enjoying some "alone time" with the detachable shower head when someone flushed the toilet, causing the cold water to run out and badly scald my genitals. It hurts to walk. FML

20 266

22 790

Headshot

home owner - 20/08/2010 06:14 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head, while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water, but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML

32 773

3 369

That escalated quickly. - 28/08/2017 20:00

Today, I was excited by the thought of the bathroom in my rental being replaced after the plumber advised that the leak can't be easily fixed. Instead, the owner has decided to fully renovate and is kicking me out. FML

3 975

345

Lonely

Anonymous - 13/01/2012 03:50 - United States

Today, I left my empty shower running so I could pretend I didn't still live alone. FML

17 705

29 992

abrazama - 02/10/2009 14:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I went down to my accommodation office in fiery wrath, demanding that something be done about my three-days-cold shower. Looking dubious, they sent someone back with me. As soon as we got there he looked at me with deep pity and pulled the cord in the corner that activated the hot water. FML

7 798

37 289

Stopa 1

Monday 4 July 2016 10:07

You can...buy a new showerhead? Like they're not even expensive or difficult to install?

itzhazen 3

Monday 4 July 2016 10:02

keeping your priorities straight I see

GirlKillerBadger 9

Wednesday 6 July 2016 8:01

Lol just replace the shower head with a different one

jvanevery 19

Wednesday 6 July 2016 13:41

wait you don't have your very own special purpose shower head that you take with you everywhere

Andrewyel 2

Wednesday 6 July 2016 19:44

Nasty hoe

allplayedout 20

Wednesday 6 July 2016 20:48

You know you can buy one for like $20, right? And get a bullet vibrator for even cheaper?

LaRodilla 4

Thursday 7 July 2016 3:47

you can non-permanently install those yourself, you moron.

theonecasey 27

Thursday 7 July 2016 4:04

Can you not get your own??

VaporeonMama 8

Thursday 7 July 2016 5:53

Jeez OP, just get a vibrator. They're not even that expensive.

kamots 3

Thursday 7 July 2016 20:14

You could just buy a new one?

ClevelendBrown 9

Friday 8 July 2016 3:14

That's Nasty...

JohnnyCakez 3

Friday 8 July 2016 5:34

get a boy friend lol

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML

33 804

4 267

Today, a customer started a conversation by telling me how smart he'd heard I am, and finished it by explaining his theory that only smart people commit suicide. He then gave me a knowing look and said, "Just something I thought you should think about," and left without buying anything. FML

39 151

3 050

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

51 453

15 963

Today, my mother invited me to a nice restaurant to meet her boyfriend whom she's been seriously dating for a month. Imagine my surprise when she led me to a table and my boyfriend's father stood up, shocked, to greet me. Rather than being horrified, she is now planning double dates every week. FML

55 565

3 155

Today, I was taking a bubble bath, and had my iPod touch on the side of my bathtub so I could listen to my music. My dog walked up to the side of the tub, looked me in the eye, and nudged my iPod into the water. FML

15 006

55 705

Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML

26 230

4 474