Money, Health Smells Stinky pits

Stinky pits

shakinmahbuttbutt - - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Close encounters

Pinkie - - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

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Surprising

Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

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Hard times

psychopumpkin - - United Kingdom - Boston

Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML

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Piss poor prank

peedonme - - New Zealand

Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML

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The smell test

sosadstudent - - Netherlands

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

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Caturday surprise!

keeperstride - - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

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Thanks for the info

Anonymous -

Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML

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Bareassed - 29/07/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML

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Weird flex, but OK

Anon - - Australia

Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML

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Well done!

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

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Gixie 25

Monday 13 January 2014 1:21

Shakin your butt butt probably isn't going to help with your BO.

Omfgitsmia 15

Monday 13 January 2014 1:20

Almost sounds like my mom these days. Maybe shower at a friends?

Scynistr 20

Monday 13 January 2014 3:38

Baracade yourself in the bathroom whenever you want to shower..

conqueror57 11

Monday 13 January 2014 3:40

Let's NOT "just say." It's a stupid verbal tic that is not part of a well-told story. It's the new "needless to say." If you don't need to say it, don't.

Katiekhalifa_fml 28

Tuesday 14 January 2014 6:54

This is an FML, not a dissertation. Get the stick out of your ass.

casste 6

Monday 13 January 2014 3:59

How about you help pay for the bills?

creepyclowntown 10

Monday 13 January 2014 4:09

bet they still got their cable TV though.Honestly, water is the cheapest of the bills.They prob could save other ways nut don't want to lose some of their luxuries

1947Chevy 17

Monday 13 January 2014 4:15

And everybody wonders how I afford water my truck is not pay for it and use well water it pays for itself perhaps you're family should look into that

Cirrus13 4

Monday 13 January 2014 4:38

That stinks.

numberswoman 14

Monday 13 January 2014 4:42

Are your parents unemployed? Sorry about not being able to bathe!

Pesticides 19

Monday 13 January 2014 4:42

I find it hilarious when someone adds a tag along sentence like "get burned" to their own comment.

metheonlyb 17

Monday 13 January 2014 4:52

How will shakin your butt butt help you anyway?

Epikouros 31

Monday 13 January 2014 10:33

Well, if he puts a picture of his butt butt on the m4m section of craigslist, he might find a friendly gentleman who will let him shower at his place.

jtea 10

Monday 13 January 2014 5:01

What do your parents do about the electricity bill...?

NicetiesofLife 11

Monday 13 January 2014 5:59

i was wondering about that too... you need electricity to pump water from a well etc. into a storage tank and then as well as that there's heating, cooling, cooking......almost everything...