Embarrassing, Family, Cooking Miscellaneous Special ingredient - FML

Special ingredient

Laviolette - - France

Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Damnsoup - 03/07/2009 00:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML

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Anonymous - 24/11/2013 18:31 - France

Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML

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Lexi - 31/10/2009 20:15 - France

Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML

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BURNED

Sarah - 19/12/2025 09:00

Today, I reheated leftover pasta at work. I forgot to crack a vent on the container and it exploded in the microwave. Sauce coated the inside, so I spent my lunch break scrubbing while coworkers waited awkwardly to heat their food. The smell is still hanging in the office air. FML

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newcomer - 12/04/2017 05:00 - Canada - Kingston

Today, to treat the family, I cooked something nice in appreciation for sticking it out over the past few tough months. Unfortunately, I chose this one day to not wear my oven mitts when carrying the food to the table, spilling the food all over the carpeted floor. FML

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Anonymous - 08/02/2016 17:43 - Austria

Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML

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Bon appétit

StijnDescamps -

Today, for the very first time, I invited my girlfriend's parents for dinner. I bought a pre-made oven dish, just to be sure nothing could go wrong. Once at the table, her mother asked pointedly who forgot to remove the plastic foil before putting it in the oven. FML

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Prae - 01/10/2012 05:47 - United States - Dallas

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

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Kitchen daydream

Rordon Gamsey - 02/08/2022 16:00

Today, I was "that idiot" who spent ages making a soup stock from meat and vegetables, but then while separating it forgot to put a pan under the strainer, so I poured the finished stock down the sink, leaving me with only the boiled meat and veg sat sadly in the strainer. Takeaway chinese for tea, then. FML

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5p4571k - 25/05/2014 17:35 - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML

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bella_coza 0

Friday 24 February 2012 1:16

Can I just say how unsanitary that really is? Ew.

kelissa_fml 16

Friday 24 February 2012 1:16

Dip it in sauce and call it a meatball?

Nikkisha16 0

Friday 24 February 2012 3:34

You're life really does suck of you're that stupid. Sorry, but YDI definitely.

JessieMongoose 11

Friday 24 February 2012 15:28

Oh, the irony.

biancapaholak 0

Friday 24 February 2012 3:37

How do you not notice a sponge while scooping it back out?

naztyskidded 0

Friday 24 February 2012 3:55

U cudve tell them that it is to suck out the oil in the pasta... Hahahhaha!

katcot99 11

Friday 24 February 2012 4:01

You could say " this is my masterpiece, it's an edible peice" when They go to eat it you can be like NOPE!

super_awesomesau 4

Friday 24 February 2012 4:03

'on top of spaghetti all covered with.....sponge'

alwayseverus 2

Friday 24 February 2012 4:20

Sounds yummy

clutz123 5

Friday 24 February 2012 4:34

um... soap gives people diarrhea... so you'll be to blame if they get that.

zingline89 18

Friday 24 February 2012 4:43

As well he should of. **** it's contagious!

madison8895 11

Friday 24 February 2012 4:45

Uh yuck.

kbrr 0

Friday 24 February 2012 4:48

Wow, any decent person would have laughed and said it was a great addition. I applaud you.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my friend accidentally left her Facebook logged onto my computer after she left my house. I looked on her Facebook and found a very long message between her and my other friends talking about how much they hate me. FML

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Today, the day before my wife and I leave for our 1 year anniversary trip, I realized my passport expires in 2014, not 2015. Instead of a week's stay at an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, we'll be spending three days in Louisville. Three angry days in Louisville. FML

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Today, at the mall, my 4-year-old son threw up on a man's shoes. When he approached me, I immediately machine-gun mouthed him in public. The man apparently is a doctor and concernedly said that my son may have a rare gastric disease based on the puke. I got him checked, and he's right. FML

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Today, the cows on the neighboring farm have been lowing loudly for 3 days straight. The guy who runs the farm is unreachable. The people who own the farm and live right next to the stable claim they don’t hear a thing. FML

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Today, I took off my fake lashes. My fake lashes took off my real lashes. FML

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Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML

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