Love Sounds promising - FML

Sounds promising

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Treat yourself

birthday bash - - France

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I'm that loser. FML

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Great, just great

lax22 - - United States - San Francisco

Today, thirty minutes after the end of a great date with a great girl, she texted me, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

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Stuck

canessadawn - - United States - Portland

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML

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Unwarranted

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I was dumped. I ran home and cried and ranted on and on to my mother. After about 10 minutes of talking, she threw a book at my face and said, "No wonder he dumped you! You can't shut up!" FML

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Deal or no deal?

toughlove - - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML

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You've got mail

guest - - Argentina - Buenos Aires

Today, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend that said, "I love you." Thinking this meant he'd changed his mind about breaking up with me less than 24 hours before, I replied back excitedly. Turns out that was a text sent last weekend that didn't go through until now. What great timing. FML

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Been there, done that

hlewrn - - United States - Centreville

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend for another girl. This other girl helped me break up with her so we could date. After it was all done, she promptly rejected me and in front of everyone, saying how much of a douche I was for leaving my girlfriend for another girl. FML

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Sponsored by Popov

Sober - 25/04/2023 03:00

Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML

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Crossed wires

hudd357mag - - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML

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Secret

Anonymous - - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML

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perdix 29

Saturday 14 April 2012 15:55

Does she know she's your "girlfriend," or are you a crazy stalker and she is your prey?

Wheredidgrungego 12

Saturday 14 April 2012 15:49

Maybe she wanted you to come with her?? Maybe you were about to have the best sex of your life but didn't realize it!

jeterman67 0

Sunday 15 April 2012 15:36

women r bitches dude, just tell them what they want to hear, and remember ur always wrong, f*ck her and go find another one asap and shell come back to u crying

MDTeddy 13

Sunday 15 April 2012 19:02

I think she likes you.

Auric 9

Monday 16 April 2012 3:08

How long were you talking for? If she yawned, it was too long.

BrettLester3 5

Monday 16 April 2012 5:15

FYL, that really sucks. I know how it is dude.

HeartOfLead 24

Monday 16 April 2012 5:21

And you didn't bother asking if you could come?

crazyworld777 0

Monday 16 April 2012 5:47

How touching.... So either dump her or suck it up and deal - what are you whining about?

mholodnak 0

Monday 16 April 2012 7:21

Ditch the bytch

mrmaks18 7

Monday 16 April 2012 8:31

I think it was you pouring your heart out that got her tired so stop that, if it's that bad get on the Jerry springer show.

isamisis 9

Monday 16 April 2012 13:17

I hope you went with her.

jmanftw 6

Monday 16 April 2012 16:21

Could be worse- you didn't get friend-zoned.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML

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Today, I was called a "freeloading parasite" and had a knife pulled on me for being a landlord. I buy land, build small starter homes, and rent or sell them, generally at a significant loss, out of a philanthropic desire to ease the housing shortage. For the gratitude I get, I should just build McMansions. FML

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Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML

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Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

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Today, I was sleeping over at a friend's house. I went and took a shower, and as I tried to get out, the door jammed. I called my friend for help, and after much tugging, the glass shattered all over me. She panicked and sent her dad to rescue me. It was the first time he and I had met. FML

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Today, I was walking to the store when I ran into one of my friends. He said he heard about my bike being stolen the day before, and that whoever took it was a heartless dick. I hadn't told anyone about the theft. FML

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