Intimacy Sounds hot - FML

Sounds hot

oops999 - 19/11/2013 19:46 - United States - Downingtown

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 04/01/2010 15:49 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML

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Snoozefest

notsogood - 08/11/2013 20:02 - United States

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

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waitforit - 23/04/2009 11:42 - United States

Today, I thought it would be really hot to watch porn while my girlfriend and I were having sex. I got so hot and aroused that I came before the previews even ended. That was less than one minute. FML

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Ah - 08/03/2010 05:42 - France

Today, my boyfriend said we should re-enact a porn episode he saw. I jokingly said yes. He had an outfit and everything. I thought it was going to be fun, until he started playing Bon Jovi in the background. FML

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That escalated badly

Anonymous - 19/03/2020 09:03

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

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Anonymous - 15/08/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Chatham

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

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No kinkshaming, but come on…

Erik Monkey - 27/04/2022 07:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my girlfriend finally showed me the porn she likes to watch. Amputees were involved. FML

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Anonymous - 02/11/2009 14:04 - United States

Today, I finally had the opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend. This would be the first time for both of us, so I tried to make it really special. I had everything planned out to be very romantic. She loved how it was set up. After all this, I couldn't get it up at all, all night. FML

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erpuchi - 01/12/2010 01:52 - Dominican Republic

Today, my girlfriend got a great idea for her history class project... while we were having sex. FML

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Bad sign

Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML

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MysticMonkey 9

Wednesday 20 November 2013 0:02

You're ******* a pornstar? Not all bad!

thehumanlyhuman 7

Wednesday 20 November 2013 0:03

The fact that she suggested it to you makes me laugh. She must be pretty proud of her performance...

therealjc_fml 14

Monday 2 December 2013 2:30

Sorry you had to find out about me that way!

Knarf_fml 10

Thursday 5 December 2013 11:08

Congrats! It counts & #WINNING

Dat_Handsome_Guy 3

Saturday 14 December 2013 19:59

:O you're dating **** star

neotholic 11

Thursday 2 January 2014 9:15

Bro how is this a bad thing like seriously you get to **** a **** star. Seriously she would do so much to you. How could you not like it!

B0n351337loser 7

Tuesday 11 February 2014 9:59

I am not sure how I would feel about this. I'm sorry dude.

Izabel12 7

Saturday 26 April 2014 5:02

That doesn't sound so bad lol.

shaunr40k 20

Monday 26 May 2014 18:30

I don't think I would complain but hey to each his own

sfxscull 9

Thursday 19 November 2015 4:17

that's just creepy .

xxhdxx 11

Sunday 31 January 2016 6:07

was it two girls one cup

ifuckuprandomly 28

Saturday 18 June 2016 2:06

I'm intensely jealous. Congrats OP!

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was at work and a lady screamed at my manager for about 15 minutes, saying I needed to be fired because I couldn't get rid of all the flies buzzing around her food. She was the one who chose to eat on our patio. FML

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Today, my 4 year old son thought it was funny to put money in the shredder. He stuck over 500 dollars in it. FML

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Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

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Today, I made it all the way up the stairs without collecting up all the shit my wife had left there during the morning. Instead of rewarding me for not falling over it, she cursed me for not understanding her puzzling redistribution system. FML

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Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

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Today, ever since my boyfriend has seen A Clockwork Orange, he always suggests that we have sex by asking, "How about a little of the good old in-out-in-out?" and refers to his genitals as, "Yarbles". He seriously doesn't understand why this turns me off every time and our sex life has sunk. FML

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