Sex Intimacy Sexy talk

Sexy talk

Anonymous - 09/01/2010 03:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

23 868

6 013

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

31 420

5 006

Anonymous - 16/05/2012 20:34 - Netherlands - Kerkrade

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

7 745

32 301

Dirty talk

Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

28 822

4 783

Not now

anonymous - 02/02/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks, "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

36 369

4 723

Kinky

sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

47 218

12 037

isoheartcaitlin - 25/08/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

38 389

6 168

PTKFML - 26/07/2009 04:37 - United States

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

54 844

7 626

elisimo - 24/01/2012 08:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

20 645

35 951

Undefined - 01/01/2009 12:09 - France

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. I look him straight in the eye and ask him: "What's the first thing you think about when you look at me?". His answer: "Can I finish my steak?" FML

23 343

8 656

Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

23 350

2 781

imcooool 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 9:29

haha I'm sorry but that made me lmaooooo! haa

CH723 0

Monday 6 February 2012 6:33

he was trying to be funny and lighten the mood. how in ***** name does that deserve wrath ?

domyoji_fml 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 12:26

In all honesty to the OP he was probably thinking you have *ahem* "roast beef lips" You may want to google image search "Im thinkin Arbys" to see a prime example. Just sayin this might be much worse than you originally though, making it way more awesome than just repeating some stupid commercial.

supertech 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 13:22

haha win..totes mcgoets

VittiChan 2

Saturday 9 January 2010 13:49

lol!!! x3

epoh_fml 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 13:58

He was thinking Arby's, meaning roast beef. He wanted to part your roast beef curtains, if ya know what I mean ;)

White667 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 14:22

You know what I don't understand? Every woman in the entire work is always complaining about guys always wanting sex, thinking about nothing but that and using girls continually. Yet every girlfriend on FML gets pissed off when a guy DOESN'T want it. I mean Jesus, mixed signals?

quietlytearful 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 14:27

shouldn't have even asked.....

ragingflame 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 14:49

27 yeah

kiljoi 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 15:29

what an ass

perdix 29

Saturday 9 January 2010 15:41

I was guessing that he was thinking about your open-faced roast beef sandwich. However, if you did, you would have experienced a night of orgiastic pleasure and wouldn't be writing an FML about it. Next time, ask him for some squirts of Horsey Sauce and you'll be back in the game.