Ironic and Miscellaneous: Running on fumes

Running on fumes

By cerealfail - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I went to get a box of cereal and I knocked over a bottle of olive oil. It took me about half an hour to clean up. When I finally finished, I found out the box of cereal was empty. FML

agreeclassic 28 197

vote type 1 4 504

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Brain fog

By FlyingCoffeeMonster - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Oreland

Today, I was having my morning coffee while getting ready for work. I grabbed clothes off the floor to throw in the hamper. I accidentally threw my full coffee instead. FML

agreeclassic 13 066

vote type 1 3 232

Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Ireland - Gorey

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

agreeclassic 5 985

vote type 1 46 636

The morning after the night before

By college student - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Oxford

Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML

agreeclassic 27 062

vote type 1 9 396

Use the force

By BlueMacaw - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML

agreeclassic 26 453

vote type 1 4 705

This is a low

By Stella - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML

agreeclassic 13 367

vote type 1 28 799

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 18:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

agreeclassic 53 888

vote type 1 4 727

Bad boy

By Shiva - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

agreeclassic 48 799

vote type 1 9 679

Boxing

By Holly - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML

agreeclassic 9 525

vote type 1 32 221

Ten out of ten performance, no notes

By Jesska - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML

agreeclassic 33 759

vote type 1 7 244

The struggle

By lizi - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

agreeclassic 4 066

vote type 1 846

kofinater 3

Monday 15 November 2010 1:04

damn, cereal is so good

bigbadtim 7

Monday 15 November 2010 1:21

Cereal killer.

Comments

LPS8585 26

Thursday 30 November 2023 22:04

For future reference, pour salt all over the oil and then sweep it up.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, while my 18 pound cat was on the edge of the tub watching me shower, he fell in. Apparently, in his mind, the best way to get away from the water is to climb my bare legs. FML

agreeclassic 40 432

vote type 1 5 846

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

agreeclassic 44 258

vote type 1 4 233

Today, after doing it with my girlfriend, she told me that she was "faking the whole time, and thinking of talking cupcakes." FML

agreeclassic 31 770

vote type 1 8 189

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML

agreeclassic 37 983

vote type 1 8 904

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

agreeclassic 30 640

vote type 1 2 469

Today, while trying to relax because I'm sick and I feel like crap, the shower head attachment fell and hit me on the head. FML

agreeclassic 862

vote type 1 109

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