Intimacy Never trust the messenger

Never trust the messenger

Teamarie - 11/08/2009 15:21 - United States

Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
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Loho - 25/03/2009 02:46 - Canada

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

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Bad timing

i'm not psychic, mother fucker - 02/06/2013 20:48 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

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sober - 12/02/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

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Nice view

Sexting Parents - 16/11/2012 02:45 - United States - Short Hills

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

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In the heat of the moment

B - 31/01/2012 20:36 - Netherlands

Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted, "Nice to meet your dad, I hope we didn't look too horny." A few minutes later, he replied, "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML

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Pull up

ohdeargodthatswrong - 09/01/2010 13:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

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Cold shower

MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

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Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

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It's not what you think!

Anonymous - 11/12/2012 07:20 - United States - Valencia

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

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ruffrider - 05/02/2009 14:09 - United States

Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML

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ChasinParkedCars 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 20:14

"Uhhh, honey? You sure you want me to read.. Okay then. 'God damn baby you know how to treat me right. I hope we didn't make too much of a mess in your parents bed.'"

BadLuckTuck 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 20:14

At least you didn't crash and die reading that text.

annonymouss_fml 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 20:27

its not your fault... you couldn't have predicted that would happen

k_100 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 16:20

You could have just left it until you had stopped the car to let your dad out, you didn't have to read it at that moment

chanman 0

Friday 14 August 2009 4:43

There shouldn't be a comma in between "smoking" and "hot" unless you meant she was either a) on fire at the time or b) had a cigarette dangling out of her mouth.

kayleighcontrol 7

Wednesday 19 August 2009 20:53

Couldn't you have just waited? The text would still be there when your dad buggered off. **** your life cause you're an idiot. And **** your dad for being so nosy and oppressive.

duggokenshin 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 14:08

you first of all shouldn't be txting and driving, its stupid and distracting. second of all you couldn't just wait till you get home to finish txting? FAIL

alxndr5120 7

Monday 16 November 2009 3:36

2 things. 1) you should not text and drive. 2) NEVER SEND DIRTY TEXTS.... EVER (or do but delete after wards)

Hurt16 0

Monday 16 November 2009 9:35

lmfaoooooooo... if I was a male n had a daughter I don't think I would ever look at u the same way... I wonder how the rest of the night went lol... must have been one silent drive home