Work, Gross, Relatable Awkward Monday motivation

Monday motivation

UuuuUUUUhhgghghghGHh - 09/02/2013 17:21 - Kenya

Today, the office coffee machine was relocated next to my desk. My co-worker insists on making several cups of the stuff per day, but instead of drinking it, he stands next to me, audibly swishes it through his teeth, gargles, and drools it back into the cup. I retch every single time. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

For science

Rach - 26/10/2023 04:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML

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Rushed

K.Trinity - 15/06/2024 20:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was in a rush to get to work and decided to multitask by making my coffee while brushing my teeth. Halfway through, I absentmindedly poured mouthwash into my coffee mug and took a big gulp. I spent the rest of the morning trying to get the taste of minty coffee out of my mouth. FML

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Employee of the week

Nathalieeeee - 13/09/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to sip my coffee quietly during a quiet meeting. Instead, I inhaled it, started choking, and sprayed lukewarm coffee all over my notes, my shirt, and unfortunately, my boss. She didn’t say anything, but I’m pretty sure she hates me now. FML

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Stank ass

Mary - 30/07/2017 05:00

Today, my officemate used the telephone beside my desk again. I still can't think of a better way to tell him how awful bad his breath is without the having to do it personally. We've been workmates for a year now and he still hasn't gotten a clue, despite of me covering my nose every time. FML

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Foam my life

Jennie - 05/12/2023 15:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I discovered the office coffee machine had been replaced with a complex espresso maker. I'm so introverted that instead of asking for help, I spent the day googling how to operate it, all to end up with a cup of lukewarm frothed milk. FML

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Anonymous - 20/03/2012 15:37 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I found out my roommate spits the mouthwash back into the bottle after he gargles. FML

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unknown - 21/09/2011 12:40 - Philippines

Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML

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melons - 03/07/2013 09:09 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML

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Big kid

Pauly - 10/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to take a drink from my water bottle while sitting in a quiet office with 5 coworkers. I squeezed too hard, sending a jet of water straight into my nose. My coworkers now think I need a sippy cup. FML

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westwoodcosmo - 27/01/2016 22:35 - United States - Mesa

Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML

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Revan501 15

Sunday 10 February 2013 2:57

That guy is an asshole.

txgirl2013 14

Sunday 10 February 2013 2:57

Unplug it, move it next to his desk and do the same thing and see how he likes it.

Fmylab 8

Sunday 10 February 2013 7:31

OP: Most other posters think you should confront him, tell the boss, or put him on YouTube. All those approaches could get you in trouble without teaching him anything. Since he's obviously a dumb animal, train him like one. Just before one of his usual coffee breaks, rub the inside of the coffee maker with a ghost chili or similarly hot pepper. Wear gloves unless you want to suffer also. Then just sit back and enjoy the show.

Satoaoi 13

Sunday 10 February 2013 7:50

or just kick him in the balls and make him spit that shit on himself. bet he won't do it anymore

JRLovecraft 6

Sunday 10 February 2013 11:09

Aw **** that's nasty. Maybe ask them to move the coffee pot?

awaydoggy 8

Sunday 10 February 2013 11:38

if i were u i would turn around and throw up on him every single time

JanisEvans 10

Sunday 10 February 2013 11:45

You might rather ask yourself why the management considers your work so irrelevant, they'd put the coffee machine next to it. In combination with that weirdo co-worker it seems like they're trying to get you to quit.