Me at lunchtime By Lewis - 12/12/2018 00:30 Why have I to be polite? I agree, your life sucks 266 You deserved it 64 Share Tweet Share
Today, after months of getting shockingly more action from my girlfriend then at any point in our last 6 months together, I found out I’m getting more because she cut back on her formerly unmentioned husband’s “access.” Apparently, he refuses to lose weight. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 785 You deserved it 405
Today, my dad and brother found a Christmas present that they'd "forgotten" to give me. Expecting a joke, I apprehensively opened it. But I still wasn't prepared to unwrap the neck of the Christmas turkey. It had been rotting in the living room for 2 days. The smell was indescribable. FML I agree, your life sucks 6 373 You deserved it 441
Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML I agree, your life sucks 56 138 You deserved it 4 924
Today, I had to listen from the next room as my dad cheated on his girlfriend with his married boss. He's 57, looks like a troll, and doesn't smell much better than one either. Meanwhile I'm 24 and couldn't get laid, much less get a date, if my life depended on it. FML I agree, your life sucks 16 841 You deserved it 1 636
Today, I went about pet-proofing my house because my new kitten is exploring every nook and cranny. I locked up everything dangerous. Then, while trying to put a safety lock on the pantry/cold room, I managed to lock myself inside. I had to yell for my roommate to let me out. FML I agree, your life sucks 194 You deserved it 385
Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 270 You deserved it 617