Health, School, Awkward Allergies Looks good

Looks good

Anonymous - 12/08/2009 20:12 - Denmark

Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

The pirate look

Anonymous - 13/11/2008 03:01 - France

Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML

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Bee plot

rrr - 15/08/2011 15:55 - Canada

Today, I started my job as an assistant to a beekeeper. I forgot to put gloves on, and got stung like crazy. My hands swelled up to the size of baseball gloves. Turns out, I'm allergic to bees. FML

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Screamslikeagirl - 27/09/2016 19:17 - United States - Union City

Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML

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madi - 15/04/2011 19:13 - United States

Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML

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Lumpy

CantBlink - - United States - Jersey City

Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML

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Anonymous - 16/04/2015 02:41 - Australia

Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML

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Now you tell me!

Anonymous - 13/08/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, I went to the eye doctor. He tells me that I've developed a severe allergy to contact lenses and must stop wearing them immediately. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't just visited him a week earlier, paid for a new prescription and ordered a year's worth of brand new lenses. FML

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Leave it to the pros

Anonymous - 05/11/2021 00:01 - United States - Epsom

Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML

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Brandon Butler - 04/03/2011 09:22

Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML

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Anonymous - 05/04/2012 01:41 - United States - Lindale

Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got Superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "New pirate" in the office. FML

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Shock98 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 3:50

wear an eye-patch. they'll think you're super badass.

wildfire393 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 3:51

Pirates are automatic win. Trust me.

haha_fail88 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 5:31

where the eye patch, tell people you're a pirate (yo ho ho)

Cloudy_fml 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 5:34

Yeah, nothing's more prestigious than a pirate!

lowcapacityx 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 5:33

EYE PATCH!!!

aback 4

Thursday 13 August 2009 5:35

Sport that pirate look, matey!

shamille 5

Thursday 13 August 2009 5:36

i vote eye patch too!

surely 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 5:36

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxtbJf5E9i4 You heard the man. Wear the funky, funky eye patch.

Da_Gov 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 5:38

Be badass with the eye patch! Tell 'em your a pimpin pirate!

CFR 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 5:38

Eyepatch. You'll get lots of good attention, and you can make up an epic story if you choose. It's better than having people run away from you.

dandymidori 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 5:40

Yeah, I don't know... eye-patches are pretty cool (: I can see that other people also agree with this! Good luck lookin' super badass :D

jook_fml 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 5:42

Put on the eyepatch. Get some pirate gear, go the whole way. It will be awesome. What could be a better first impression than beginning your first day at a new school dressed like a pirate?