Love, Sex Intimacy Let's get it on

Let's get it on

Frank - 17/08/2011 06:50 - United States

Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Can't win

Anonymous - 24/09/2019 22:00

Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML

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Uninvited

Boner Jim - 24/07/2025 14:00 - United States

Today, my girl came home and said, "I'm gonna jump in the shower, I'm horny as fuck." Naturally, I assumed that was an invitation, so I lit some candles quickly and hopped on the bed, waiting for her. She got out, looked at me funny and said, "The fuck are you doing? I want to masturbate. Get out." FML

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Username - 18/03/2010 08:21 - France

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

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Don't you want me baby?

Ugh - 05/12/2024 21:00 - Romania

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

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Bad timing

Anonymous - 23/06/2022 14:00

Today, I got home and I was feeling horny so I leapt on my boyfriend, except he had just got home from a 16-hour day and was too tired. After his nap, he was horny but by that time I was way too tired and no longer horny. This is ridiculous, we can’t even get laid even though we live together. FML

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BlueBallMcGee - 11/05/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, I came home from working twelve hours straight. Feeling rather frisky, I attempted to seduce my wife upon arriving home. She said that sleep was better than sex and went directly to bed. It was only 6:30 PM. FML

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Wait

Anonymous - 20/07/2022 22:00

Today my wife told me she really wanted to have sex, and to wait in bed while she got ready. Turns out get ready means do the dishes, feed the dogs, clean the cat's litter tray, phone her sister, make coffee, shower, and wait for the dryer to dry her pyjamas. By the time she got in bed, I'd fallen asleep. FML

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Velian - 09/12/2008 08:59 - France

Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML

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hannieannie - 09/02/2016 21:51 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

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Romance is dead

Anonymous - 10/10/2022 18:30 - Turkey

Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML

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abes22 0

Wednesday 17 August 2011 11:51

should have asked her to come help you..

jasminea 0

Wednesday 17 August 2011 11:54

show her how tired she really is (;

anamariba 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 7:04

What if she just said "yes " with no questions asked? :))

swampbilly 5

Thursday 18 August 2011 7:17

You can always count on rosy palm and her 5 sisters

meganseesstars 9

Thursday 18 August 2011 7:25

so why is she lazy just because shes not in the mood? maybe she didnt feel good. plus you shouldnt just flat out ask for sex. what a turn off. he should have started to kiss her or created a little romance. dont treat a woman as just a hole for your dick.

markrs 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 7:48

She's cheating on you. With some dad taking all the sweetener at McDonald's

divadro102 16

Thursday 18 August 2011 8:08

Yea, go ahead and grab a wank. While figuring out how to flick her pearl

Pazu_fml 10

Thursday 18 August 2011 8:55

So go have a wank. She doesn't owe you sex whenever you request it. Sometimes people get tired without doing anything, and sometimes people just aren't in the mood. If you want to keep your girlfriend, you better start respecting that.