Family, Annoying Health Leave me alone

Leave me alone

emoflowers - 10/04/2012 02:51 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

I've known for ages

Crap - 28/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

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Bunged up

Anonymous - 28/06/2013 03:57 - United States

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML

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ok cool - 13/10/2015 01:53 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, while I was in the bathroom my mom walked in and tried to have a conversation with me about my bowel movements. I'm 23, and this is a regular thing. FML

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Bladdered

Anonymous - 14/05/2021 14:31 - India - Delhi

Today, while playing cards, with my dad, mom and sister, I excused myself to go to the bathroom several times just to secretly chat with my crush. I laughed so hard at a joke that I wet my pants. My family thinks I need to see a doctor because I was going to the bathroom so often between card games. FML

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Sad but true

mcginnismr - 13/05/2016 22:57

Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML

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Open door policy

Anonymous - 09/03/2021 23:01

Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML

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Not now!

Anonymous - 18/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

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Good to know

peeshy - 16/05/2021 06:01

Today, I used the upstairs bathroom rather than the downstairs one, which was in close earshot of my parents. When I came out, my mom angrily asked why I used that bathroom. I explained to her that I have shy bladder, and she said, "That’s not a real thing. I can go even with someone watching." FML

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LoveYouTooMa - 20/06/2010 04:11 - United States

Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

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Ever Given

Anonymous - 31/03/2021 20:00 - United States - Elverson

Today, I had to poop, but as I sat down, it wouldn't come out. After about 10 minutes I realized I needed help. The only help I could get was my mother, who couldn't stop laughing at the sweat and faces I made. I still hurt. FML

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FYLminerocks 7

Tuesday 10 April 2012 8:39

You mean to jack off right?

bitch_pleez 10

Tuesday 10 April 2012 8:41

Haha my little brother does sorta the same thing. He locks himself in the bathroom for a couple hours with a book multiple times a day.

monique8axel 6

Tuesday 10 April 2012 14:22

Don't forget your d.s or phone ;D

perdix 29

Tuesday 10 April 2012 14:37

Sounds like you really have Irritable Family Syndrome.

andromeda335 9

Tuesday 10 April 2012 14:47

I do it too, i know your pain

titzenpitzer 9

Tuesday 10 April 2012 15:22

that AND lots of other places you go to to avoid them? Know the feeling

hateevryone 14

Tuesday 10 April 2012 16:58

Uh oh

LoveLessXlll 8

Tuesday 10 April 2012 17:23

What the doctor thought was really hilarious was that he was going to get paid for examining a healthy person.

fishisacat 2

Tuesday 10 April 2012 17:27

YOU are awesome OP

skyeyez9 24

Tuesday 10 April 2012 17:27

OP may have a big (or nosy) family, share a bedroom with another sibling. If OP is an introvert, this lifestyle would suck because introverts need to get away from all the people and noise.

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Tuesday 10 April 2012 18:15

You should've implied you didn't feel comfortable talking about this in front of your mother. When she left told the Doctor the truth. If your mother pressed you about afterwards implied masturbation.