Health Hygienic

Hygienic

imfullthanks - 14/03/2009 23:06 - Norway

Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML

88 703

7 674

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

missy - 09/03/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

87 468

8 682

I've known for ages

Crap - 28/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

38 108

7 193

Revenge is sweet

Anonymous - 12/10/2013 22:03 - Iceland - Akranes

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

47 278

27 826

Nick - 13/08/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML

14 407

147 193

Freak out

RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) - 17/12/2014 18:47 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

33 907

6 646

Well did you?

Kagura - 02/06/2010 15:05 - Turkey

Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked, "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML

34 370

3 830

Experimental

AshleyP - 04/04/2014 14:17 - United Kingdom

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML

47 473

4 561

Leave me alone

emoflowers - 10/04/2012 02:51 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

29 545

3 349

cjay2200 - 28/08/2011 21:25 - United Kingdom

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

36 188

9 931

Poop

Roma - 16/06/2017 14:00 - United States - Chevy Chase

Today I asked my mother-in-law to borrow a plunger, so she asked what I needed it for. "Poop," I replied. "I've told you this before," she huffed, "you have to poop a little and then flush, poop a little and flush. You can't go all at once." I can't even shit right for this woman. FML

5 422

556

commonsense 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 9:52

so how did the beef taco taste?

fingersforteeth 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 10:16

did someone order the poo poo platter? ha

MonkeySpeaks 4

Tuesday 17 March 2009 1:02

and yes i know what im talking about - doctors and hospitals wont take samples (blood, stool, pee) if they aren't collected and transported correctly. Its a waste of their time and money to run it through tests if its contaminated.

sage101 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 2:08

omg where did u find that plate!

Thirdstrike 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 4:21

Fake

greedy_dead_soul 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 5:36

Nah, untrue. As #33/#34 said, that would've contaminated the sample. Also, she wouldn't have naturally described the plate in that much detail. I would've just said, "I used a plate."

greedy_dead_soul 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 5:37

[dupe]

superkid 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 10:09

did you enjoy it? haha.

13BlackCat 2

Wednesday 18 March 2009 19:27

no matter how many times you wash it... it is forever tainted... poor plate

rammjet 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 20:56

Your mom is disgusting.

Intrigue 3

Thursday 19 March 2009 7:25

I'm sorry. This reminds me of something that happened to me. My mom has such an issue with the fact that I lock the bathroom door when I shower (she doesn't but I always wait until she's done to go in). I figured that that's what knocking is for, as I'm not too keen on her seeing me naked because she tends to make comments. One day, I took a shower as normal and came out into the dining room to see a glass filled with yellow liquid. Getting a little closer confirmed that it was indeed urine and I had to struggle to keep my lunch down. Instead of knocking and telling me she had to pee (to which I would've opened the door), she decided she would rather piss in my favorite drinking glass. I know this is just a reply but yeah...FML anyway.