Sex, Awkward Intimacy Going well, is it?

Going well, is it?

Elizabeth - 29/07/2011 19:56 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that after he gets off work, he can find me in his room wearing something sexy. He responded with, "Please don't touch anything." FML

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Rejection - 04/05/2010 07:33 - France

Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML

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Steamy

DreeStahr - - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

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notsohot - 25/08/2019 00:01

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML

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Expectations

Anonymous - 02/01/2022 05:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML

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Dirty room

love you too honey boo - 13/01/2020 05:00

Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML

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jodibut - 06/02/2012 16:18 - United States

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

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Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

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Busted - 21/10/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML

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McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

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princess - 17/03/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

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dwhite312 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 1:57

he has manners. what's the problem here?

SpicyDuck 22

Saturday 30 July 2011 2:01

you're gonna find panties under his pillow.

FML_in_general 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 2:06

i fail to see where the "FML" is here....

genesisnirvana 11

Saturday 30 July 2011 4:51

She's telling her bf that he's getting lucky when he gets off and he replies by saying don't touch anything in my room which sounds suspicious.

SASA4810 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 5:47

i fail to see how you spelled all those words right when you aint even smart enough to get that this is an FML

Livinia 11

Saturday 30 July 2011 2:08

OCD boyfriend?

dolphincheddar 10

Saturday 30 July 2011 2:13

mind

OceanProtection 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 10:04

^ His name is Dolphincheddar.

TaylorTotsYumm 10

Saturday 30 July 2011 2:12

Tell him you won't be touching him anytime soon either.

kroekdog 7

Saturday 30 July 2011 2:18

i hope you didn't touch anything...

mynameis1339 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 2:20

Respect OP

kaylapple 1

Saturday 30 July 2011 2:25

hes hiding something.

kingtz 6

Saturday 30 July 2011 3:00

Like ****?

shoopd 19

Saturday 30 July 2011 3:33

Yes, I like ****. Why do you ask?

schoolgirl94 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 2:25

he must hate u

structuredchaoz 4

Saturday 30 July 2011 2:29

Yea. He's likely hiding something. Maybe you should rethink this

Saltime 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 2:29

Or, as other comments suggest, he could be hiding something he doesn't want her to find... ...Like a signed Beatles record!

Piinkdottx3 5

Saturday 30 July 2011 2:45

when when he says don't touch anything, that's when you snoop around to find what that bastard is hiding!

firefail1031 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 3:35

no that's when you don't touch anything. maybe there is something important in there he doesn't want broken. Or maybe her engagement ring is sitting somewhere. Or maybe she's just nosey and goes through everything that's not hers.