Kids, Weird, Awkward, Parents Teenagers Get in, kid - FML

Get in, kid

-__- - 28/10/2011 11:50 - Australia

Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding." This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML

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Mid-life crisis

theslutmuncher - 14/12/2012 23:20 - Germany - Merseburg

Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML

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Colin Jr. - 23/09/2015 13:24 - United States

Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML

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Survivor

whyyy - 21/11/2011 23:26 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad's mid-life crisis has finally started. He's blacked all our windows, barricaded the door to the backyard, and set up a bunch of security cameras in and out of the house. It seems he's been reading up on Survivalist and Masonic conspiracy theory bullshit. FML

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Emma Five - 14/03/2012 03:22 - United States

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

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Crisis control

Cuntlette - 11/04/2014 16:38 - Australia - Brighton

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

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fuck off, dad - 02/01/2014 17:07 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML

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Anonymous - 17/07/2012 20:19 - United States - Renton

Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML

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Z - 09/04/2011 22:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML

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Anonymous - 16/07/2012 00:12 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

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Growing old disgracefully

adam - 05/12/2015 14:54 - Czech Republic

Today, my dad is having his midlife crisis, bought a Mercedes, along with having a girlfriend less than half his age. I was trying to be supportive, until I found out he is funding his midlife crisis with my university loan. FML

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syki 22

Friday 28 October 2011 15:56

This sounds like the intro to some much more disturbing "father-daughter bonding." And look! He's brought friends!

Buttsexpirate 9

Friday 28 October 2011 15:52

Sounds like bonding to me. Too bad it was a crappy movie though. Should've watched Friendship is magic. It's better and for all ages!

justin3301987 2

Sunday 22 April 2012 4:01

Maybe he just wanted to spend time with you? Teenagers...

TheJashinist 8

Friday 7 September 2012 16:26

Amazing dad. Silent Hill is awesome.

Darkasnight1717 8

Saturday 23 February 2013 7:14

Aw come on it could've been much worse than that! At least you got out of school, right?

nazzarette11 0

Wednesday 31 July 2013 9:12

That's not even that bad.

Sanduril 15

Tuesday 10 September 2013 20:21

Well that was an anti-climax, how is that "losing his shit"?

BathroomGlasses 7

Sunday 19 January 2014 21:24

I love that movie :D

GalaxyShots 21

Thursday 19 June 2014 22:58

At least it was a good movie.

superguydude200 5

Saturday 11 April 2015 21:22

Stop complaining tho! You got pulled out of school!

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Today, my 10-year-old son's friend googled his name and found breastfeeding pictures that I had put on a personal website when he was 2 days old. Now he gets laughed at, and his friends all saw pictures of my breasts. FML

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Today, I popped a zit that had formed around an ingrown hair "down there". It popped with so much force, the pus hit me in the forehead. Still can't get the hair out. FML

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Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

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Today, the first thing I noticed about my blind date was the clump of nose hairs sticking out and mingling with his beard. In an effort to not stare, I periodically glanced away. After a while, he asked which guy I was into at the table next to us, because I was spending so much time looking in that direction. FML

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Today, I went out for drinks for the first since I stopped breastfeeding. I underestimated how low my tolerance had become and how strong the drinks were. My husband was stopped by two bouncers while trying to carry me to the car. They thought he'd drugged me. FML

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